


Top of the World

by ZephyrusZ



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Awkwardness, F/M, First Dates, Fluff, M/M, Slow Build, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-09 04:06:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8875285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZephyrusZ/pseuds/ZephyrusZ
Summary: Izaya blackmails Shizuo to go to the amusement park with him on a date he'll never forget. Shizaya and canon pairings.





	1. Prologue

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Prologue_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_"WE'RE ON TOP OF THE WORLD!"_

_"Huh?"_

_Izaya grinned and spun around, throwing his hands up into the evening sky, "Doesn't it feel great, Shizu-chan?!"_

_Shizuo stared, then smirked, "Yeah," he sneered, making his way towards Izaya, "But I bet it'll feel better if I give you One. Little. Shove."_

_"Oh?" Izaya smiled as he balanced on the edge, "And why would you do that, Shizu-chan?"_

_"Because I hate you, fucking flea!"_

_"I hate you too, Shizu-chan!" Shizuo twitched as Izaya smiled, sweeping his hands out grandly, "But really, what will people think if you push me off?" He turned his gaze to the ant like figures below._

_"If I really die, Shizu-chan will become a murderer! A murderer in an amusement park! Hahaha! Isn't that amusing?"_

_Shizuo gritted his teeth in frustration. He stomped forward and took hold of Izaya's collar, "You won't be laughing when you're a bloody splat on the ground!"_

_Izaya pouted at him, "Really Shizu-chan, can't you stop being so barbaric?" He said in mock disappointment, "We're on a date, aren't we?"_

_"THIS DATE IS OVER, FUCKING LOUSE!"_

_"Ah, so you finally agree it's a date!" Izaya smiled wryly. Shizuo glared at him and he eyed the brunet in amusement, turning his gaze._

 

_"_ _Look at the view, Shizu-chan. Isn't it magnificent?"_

 


	2. Izaya's Plan

 

 

 

 

_I haven't been to Ikebukuro for a while, I wonder if Shizu-chan's forgotten about me?_

A certain information broker smirked to himself on a normal, boring day.

_I guess it's time to pay him a visit, huh?_

He pondered for a while on how to toy with the monster. 

He lowered his gaze as if in thought, as an idea came to him.

His secretary spared him a glance when he burst out into laughter as he imagined the expression on the Monster of Ikebukuro's face, but otherwise paid no attention to him.

'That's right, that would certainly make things interesting!"

The black haired woman remained silent until the information broker was out of the door, his cheerful expression the last thing she saw before he closed it behind him.

"...What twisted plan has he come up with now?" 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
  
**Days later**

 

"Celty! My beloved Celty!"

[What is it, Shinra?]

Shinra smiled widely as he leaned towards the Dullahan, "Let's go on a date!"

[Eh?!]

Celty's fingers fumbled as she typed on her PDA.

[D-Date?!]

"Date!" Shinra agreed joyfully.

[Why?]

"Because it's time we did something romantic right?" Shinra said happily as he gazed lovingly, clasping his hands, "Ah, a date with my beloved Celty!"

[But Shinra, your work -]

"Ah, I'll just tell my clients I'm busy today!" Shinra said cheerfully. "After all, Celty's more important!"

He smiled as he saw the Dullahan's embarrassed expression.

[But, I can't go out…people will recognize me, won't they? ]

Shinra smiled almost secretively, "Oh no one will care, everyone will be too busy! And the cops won't be there!"

[…Where are we going, Shinra?]

"You'll see!" Shinra said, though it looked like he couldn't control his excitement himself.

He clasped his hands together again, eying his love with bright eyes.

"So Celty…please go out with me?"

[…Alright.]

Celty couldn't bear to disappoint the hopeful doctor. She wanted to do something for him, and if this would make him happy…to go out like a normal couple…

She typed quickly on her PDA that she had a bad feeling about this, but was interrupted by Shinra's loud shout.

"YAY!" Shinra flung his arms around his startled love, nuzzling her shoulder. "Thanks, Celty! I love you!"

[G-GET OFF!]

"OW!" Shinra half smiled, half grimaced as he rubbed his shoulder. He smiled at his embarrassed Celty.

"I promise you won't regret it, Celty!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"…What is that bastard planning?"

Kida Masaomi stared at the message he had received. His lover, Mikajima Saki, peeked over his shoulder with a smile.

"Eh? Is that from Izaya-san?"

"Yeah."

Saki scanned the message, then grinned, "He wants us to go on a date?!" She said excitedly, looking at her boyfriend.

"Then Masaomi, let's go!"

"But…" Kida said, still trying to figure out what Izaya's motive was. "The information…"

His phone vibrated, and he reluctantly accessed the new message.

[Ah don't worry, I'm giving you and Saki-chan an official day off. I don't need you to collect any information today. I've already collected it myself. So enjoy yourselves, alright?]

"Wow!" Saki said as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, smiling widely.

"Izaya-san is so nice! Masaomi, let's make use of this opportunity!"

"But Saki, it might be a trap -"

"Nonsense!" Kida blinked as his girlfriend smiled reassuringly at him, "Really Masaomi, how can he trap us by sending us on a date?"

"I don't know, maybe there are people who will attack us -"

"At a place like that? Even Izaya-san isn't that daring!"

Kida stared, then sighed. Saki just smiled at him and tugged on his arm. "I want to go on a date with Masaomi." 

"Don't you want to go on a date with me?"

"Of course Saki, but -"

"Then let's go! Okay?"

Kida continued staring, before he sighed again then gave Saki a smile, resolving to keep his eye out for any suspicious people during the so called date.

"Yeah."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A certain red haired Yakuza blinked as he received a message from their information broker. He frowned slightly and accessed it.

[Akabayashi-san, why don't you take Akane-chan to the amusement park ? I'm sure she'll love to ride the ferris wheel. Maybe see the fireworks? Ah Anri-chan will be there too! Isn't that great?]

"…What the hell?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Eh?" Tom said in surprise.

"Yeah, I was surprised too." His boss informed him with a nod. "But early this morning, they came and paid all their debts, saying they were sorry."

He frowned in puzzlement. "Not that that's bad, but I wonder what happened?"

"Uh," Tom said unsurely, "Maybe they had a change of heart?"

_Overnight?_

"Perhaps." The older man said. He gave Tom a genial smile.

"Anyway, since there's no work today, you can take the day off." He nodded at the blonde woman standing beside the man.

"You too. Enjoy yourselves."

Tom nodded in return. "Yeah, thanks." 

Vorona bowed slightly as well in appreciation. They then both turned and walked away. Tom opened the door.

"Good thing Shizuo hasn't arrived yet, huh?"

"Affirmative." 

Tom smiled wryly. They walked out of the room, and his phone vibrated in his pocket. He took it out. It was probably Shizuo messaging him to tell him he had overslept.

To his surprise, an unknown number greeted him. Tom frowned slightly and opened the message. He blinked.

"Tanaka-senpai?" Vorona asked when her senpai stared at his phone as if he was in another world. She vaguely wondered how to get to that world.

Tom started. He turned and smiled at her.

"Hey, Vorona. You're free today right?"

"I am available." Vorona agreed. "Is there something you require of me?"

"Yeah. Do you want to go to the amusement park today?" Vorona stared at him and he quickly added, "Of course, we can invite Shizuo too."

"Amusement park?"

"Yeah. It's a fun place where you can do a lot of things. Fun things." Tom said as he started to send Shizuo a message.

"Fun." Vorona said. She blinked as she thought of her idea of 'fun'.

She felt slight excitement at the thought, "I request- is this 'amusement park' a place where extermination is accepted?" It would make sense. Such a park would indeed be amusing to her.

"Huh? No!" Tom said in surprise. He scratched the back of his neck, "No extermination, but there'll definitely be other fun things!" 

_Where did she get that idea from?!_

"I am unable to comprehend Tanaka-sempai's idea of 'fun'."

Vorona said expressionlessly. She tried to hide her disappointment.

"Uh, well…" Tom thought for a bit. He smiled when he got an idea. "I know! You like sweet things, don't you?" 

Vorona blinked, then flushed slightly and nodded. Tom smiled at her, "The amusement park is the perfect place for you then! Shizuo too. There are a lot of sweet things, like popcorn, cotton candy -"

"Cotton candy?"

"Yeah! It's really sweet."

Vorona perked up. "Cotton candy…" she said.

Candy was sweet. Cotton was soft. 'Cotton candy' would be soft and sweet. She smiled. Maybe she could eat it with Shizuo-senpai.

"Affirmative. I would like to go to this amusement park to try this 'Cotton Candy'."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Dotachin!"

Kadota started, then turned his gaze to his companions. "What?"

Erika smiled widely at him, "Why are you staring at your phone?" She said slyly, "Message from your boyfriend?"

Kadota frowned. "Don't involve me in your disturbing fantasies." He said. "Chikage is just a friend."

Seriously, what was with her? He and Chikage had just fought and come to a friendship. Not relationship. Kadota sighed. Why did she have to pair every guy she saw together? Especially if they fought? Did guys fighting equal guys loving each other in her twisted mind? So the more guys fought and went against each other the more they loved each other?

Maybe that was why she thought Shizuo and Izaya were together.

He didn't get her logic. And he didn't want to get it.

"But you two were reallllly close," Erika grinned at him. He stared at her and she said, "Sooo, who were you messaging?"

Kadota sighed and ignored her first statement.

"Maybe Kadota-san finally got a girlfriend!" Walker said with a grin. He hoped that was the case. Maybe then Erika would stop pairing him and Kadota in her BL fantasies.

Kadota looked at his eager companions. He sighed again, shoving his hands into his pockets awkwardly.

"I know this is kinda weird but…do you guys want to go to the amusement park?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kasuka stared at his phone.

He thought for a while, and began to compose a new message to his girlfriend. Only one who knew him very well could have seen the nervousness in his stoic expression.

[Would you like to go on a date with me?]

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Eh, it's a message from Iza-nii!"

"Iza-nii…message… (Iza-nii sent a message?)"

"Yeah!" Mairu said. Her eyes widened as she read the message.

"K-Kuru-nee!" She gasped excitedly. "Yuuhei-san…!"

"Yuuhei-san…?"

Mairu turned and gave her sister a disarming grin. Kururi blinked as her twin reached out and hugged her tightly.

"If Iza-nii wasn't lying, we can meet Yuuhei-san today!"

Kururi blinked again, then smiled and hugged her twin back.

"Meet…Yuuhei-san…"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Today's the day, huh?"

Izaya said to himself, looking at his phone as he lay in bed.

He smiled in anticipation.

The stage was set.

Now all he had to do was get the monster to the stage.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments, I didn't expect comments for the prologue and it was a pleasant surprise. This is an old work, and was written just for fun but please continue to let me know what you think


	3. It's a Date! First Date and Love Girl with Robot Boy

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Today, I'm going on a date with Shizu-chan!"

Namie choked on her coffee. She coughed, then turned her gaze to Izaya who was happily making his way to the door.

"What?"

Izaya smirked at her as he wore his coat. "I'm going on a date." He said cheerfully, an amused glint in his eyes.

"Why? Are you jealous, Namie? After all, you can't go on a date with your dear Seiji-kun, He would probably think it was a family outing!"

Namie glared. "And what about you?" She countered viciously, a smirk forming on her lips.

"So desperate that you'd go on a date with Heiwajima Shizuo, who would sooner kill you than date you?"

She raised an eyebrow, her tone sarcastic, "I thought your _love_ was only for humanity."

"Of course, of course," Izaya said easily. He smiled. " My love will always only be for humanity!"

"Humans are so interesting, so fun!"

"So, don't be jealous, Namie," he sang, walking to the door. "You're a human, so you have my love! Aren't you glad?"

He shook his head with a smile and shrug, "I know you must be feeling lonely since your dear Seiji-kun is with his girlfriend…"

"Don't be disgusting," Namie retorted, ignoring the latter half of his statement.

She smirked in amusement, "Go and give your love to Heiwajima Shizuo instead. I'm sure he'll appreciate it much more."

"Ah I can't do that, Shizu-chan's a monster!" Izaya waved off, smirking, "I will always hate Shizu-chan."

The information broker turned away, raising a hand casually, "Well, bye Namie! I've already shifted my appointments for today. But if there are any important messages, direct them to me." He said smoothly as he pointed a finger at the phone on his desk.

"I'll be coming back quite late from my date. So, if I find out you haven't completed your work," he gestured elegantly to the thick pile of papers on his desk with a smirk, "Or you went home early, well, you won't be able to function as your dear Seiji-kun's moneybank."

"Maybe I'll deduct your pay by half, or three quarter maybe? You already don't have to cook dinner because I'll be having dinner with Shizu-chan."

"Ah yeah, don't touch the chessboard!"

"Bastard," Namie hissed, glaring coldly at her employer's back. She sneered. "I hope you die on your date, Orihara."

"Aw, that hurts, Namie-san!" Izaya smirked as he stepped out of the door, enjoying the way his secretary glared at him. "You're not even going to wish me to have a good date?" 

"Good luck committing suicide, I'm sure your _date_ will gladly help you with that."

Izaya merely smiled at his secretary's acidic tone, "So mean!"

He raised a casual hand, walking forward, shrugging. "Ah well, I'm going to enjoy myself anyway."

"Bye bye! Don't set the house on fire, okay?"

Namie scowled and grabbed her phone. She pressed a button to resist the temptation to do just that. She didn't want him to deduct her pay, and he knew that.

A picture of her stoic but handsome looking brother greeted her. Namie smiled, resting her hand on her cheek. She sighed, her whole demeanor changing as she felt her anger melt away.

"Ahhh Seiji…the things I do for you…"

A piece of paper on the floor caught her eye and she turned her gaze reluctantly away. Namie blinked. She placed her phone down and stood up, moving to pick up the piece of folded paper from the floor.

"That bastard must have dropped this."

Taken in by curiosity, she unfolded the paper, and blinked at the sight of the words that met her eyes, words so unexpected that she blinked again. "…Seriously?"

But then, Izaya had just said he was going on a date with 'Shizu-chan', aka Heiwajima Shizuo. So maybe it wasn't so unexpected.

Namie smirked in amusement as she scanned the words on the paper.

"So this was your plan."

The beautiful black haired woman crushed the piece of paper brutally in her hand and dropped it onto the floor. She tossed her head, smirking as she turned her gaze to the open door.

"Hopefully he remembers his plan." She said to herself sarcastically.

Namie scoffed, and turned to walk back to her desk, feeling amusement for the first time in a long while.

"Who knew Orihara Izaya had a heart?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shizuo was peacefully sleeping when he heard a familiar voice.

"Shizu-chan!"

The bodyguard frowned in his sleep and wondered why he was hearing the flea's voice. He kept his eyes closed and resolved to ignore it, wondering if it was a lasting effect from his dream where he had finally caught the louse and beaten him to death. He smiled at the memory.

There was a sigh, and the bed dipped, and a finger poked his shoulder as that annoying voice continued, "Ahhh, Shizu-chan? You're still asleep?"

Izaya blinked, leaning over, "Eh? You're smiling? What are you dreaming about?"

"Shut up flea…" Shizuo mumbled through vestiges of sleep, "You're supposed to be fucking dead already…"

"Ah? Shizu-chan is dreaming about me? Wow! What a surprise!"

Shizuo grumbled.

"Hey Shizu-chan, Shizu-chan, wake up!" That annoying voice continued, "Wake up wake up wake uppppp!"

Shizuo snapped as that finger continued poking his cheek. He leapt up from the bed, eyes flashing, only to encounter Izaya's smiling face. He blinked.

"P-Pft, Shizu-chan!" Izaya grinned at him as if he wasn't supposed to be dead, "Your hair! Hahaha Shizu-chan has bed hair!"

Shizuo twitched as Izaya doubled over in laughter. It wasn't a dream. This flea was even more annoying. This flea was _alive_ after all.

"I-ZAYA-KUN!"

He roared and pushed the laughing informant down, pinning him to the bed with a hand on his pale neck.

"Didn't I tell you not to come to Ikebukuro?! What the hell are you doing in my house?!"

Izaya smirked at him as if his windpipe wasn't in danger of being crushed, "Wow, Shizu-chan you sure are impatient. Isn't this supposed to happen after the date?"

"Huh?" Shizuo snarled, eyebrow twitching. He tightened his grip on Izaya's neck, "What the fuck are you talking about, flea?"

"Ah I forgot, Shizu-chan is probably clueless." Izaya said in amusement.

He gestured as best as he could from his seemingly vulnerable position.

"Take a look, this isn't exactly a comfortable position, you know?"

Shizuo blinked. He looked down at his hand on Izaya's neck and his other hand positioned on the side of his head. He was straddling the flea on the bed, and their legs were touching, their faces inches apart, as amused crimson eyes looked at him.

Izaya laughed as Shizuo grimaced and shot away from him. He got up, rubbing his sore neck.

"Really, is this your idea of a hickey?" He sighed, "I'm going to get a bruise! Shizu-chan is so brutal."

"But I guess that's to be expected, you're a protozoan after all." He smiled wryly.

"Hey Shizu-chan, don't you miss me after not seeing me for so long?"

"Hell no! Shut up and get out of here!" Shizuo glared at Izaya, who was sitting comfortably on his bed.

"Why are you here anyway? I thought you disappeared off the face of the earth."

Izaya just smiled.

"Check your phone," he said casually.

"Huh?"

"Tom-san should have sent you a message."

Shizuo blinked. He lifted his phone from the bed and pressed a button to light up the screen. Sure enough, there was one message waiting for him. He frowned and accessed it.

[Shizuo, you don't need to come to work today. It's strange but the Boss said our debtors had suddenly handed in all the money they owe us. So, he said we could take the day off. You can go enjoy yourself or -]

Shizuo blinked as Izaya fished his phone from his grasp.

"Hey! Give me back my phone!"

Izaya scanned the message then smiled wryly and exited the screen. "Just checking." He said cheerfully.

Shizuo glared and snatched his phone back, dropping it back on the bed.

"What are you hiding?"

"Eh?"

"You must be planning something. You don't do things without a reason. Why would you help me with my job?"

"Awww, Shizu-chan knows me so well!" Izaya grinned.

He raised his hands as Shizuo growled, a glint in his eye.

"But, I just wanted to spend the day with Shizu-chan!"

"Huh?"

Izaya smiled, continuing easily, "So, I had to make sure your schedule was cleared, right? Oh and of course I shifted my appointments too! Aren't you honored?"

"Why the hell should I be?" Shizuo snarled, "And why the fuck would you do that?"

"Oh Shizu-chan, are you really that dense?" Izaya sighed, waving a hand.

"We're going on a date of course!"

"WHAT?!"

"I know, you must be honored that I cleared my schedule to free myself for a date with you -"

"The hell I am!"

"I mean, I have to make sure no one disturbs us on our date, right? That wouldn't be romantic at all! And what would I do if Shizu-chan gets jealous, ah I don't want to run away from Shizu-chan today -"

"F-Fucking flea!" Shizuo finally managed, brown eyes wide.

"Repeat what you just said!"

Izaya sighed in an exasperated manner. "Really, haven't I put it in simple enough terms for your protozoan brain?"

He reached up and poked Shizuo's chest. "You."

The bodyguard blinked as Izaya pointed towards himself. "Me."

The black haired man smirked and swept his hand grandly. "Date."

"Understand?"

Shizuo stared as Izaya smiled. "I'll take that as a yes." He reached into his pocket and brought out a box, holding it to Shizuo.

"Here."

Shizuo stared at the box as if it were an alien from outerspace that Celty was scared of, his mind still trying in vain to comprehend the situation, "What the hell?"

"Contacts," Izaya said leisurely. "You know, just in case. Do you know how to put them on or do I have to do it for you?"

"Why the fuck do I have to wear _contacts?"_

"Because you can't wear your sunglasses, people will recognise you. So I got you blue contacts instead. I decided to be generous since I know you don't have the money for them, considering the place you live in." Izaya waved a hand to gesture around the small bedroom.

"So, go put them on, alright? You wouldn't want to waste my money, would you? I bought them just for you…Shizu-chan."

Shizuo stared, then snatched the box away from Izaya, who merely smiled.

"Your money can go in the trash." He snarled, pushed himself off the bed and stomped off to the bathroom.

"Ah, Shizu-chan knows how to put on contacts?" Izaya called cheerfully, "What a surprise!"

"Shut up! I've seen Kasuka do it before!" Shizuo yelled back, "Now get the hell lost before I change my mind!"

"Yes, yes," Izaya said, closing his eyes with an amused smile.

He opened his eyes and slipped off the bed, skipping out of the bedroom and calling over his shoulder.

"Oh yeah Shizu-chan, remember to dress nicely! You're going on a date with me after all!"

"Go die!"

Izaya smirked as the bathroom door slammed so hard Izaya was surprised it survived Shizuo's wrath. He turned around and stepped towards the bed, picking up the orange phone.

_Now, what should I tell Tom-san?_

 

 

 

 

 

Izaya sat on the couch with his arms slung casually over the back of the couch as if the place belonged to him or he could buy it anytime he wanted to, which he could.

He smiled as he hummed. Wouldn't that be amusing - to rid the monster of his living quarters and see him living in the streets of his beloved Ikebukuro?

He toyed with the idea, but footsteps behind him made him turn his head, and he looked at Shizuo with amusement, "Wow, you really do know how to put on contacts!" He said admiringly.

Shizuo scowled at him, "Just open your eye and shove it in. Simple."

Izaya's smile widened. "Even for a protozoan huh?" 

"Shut up," Shizuo strode towards him with narrowed – blue eyes. "And get out of my house."

"Ah, can't do that," Izaya jumped off the couch as Shizuo swung at him. He looked at the bodyguard approvingly.

"Mmm. Brown hair and blue eyes," he clapped his hands, a satisfied smile on his face, "Not a bad combination!"

"But, a bartender outfit?" Izaya peered at the seething blond, exasperated and amused at the same time. "On a date? Really, is that the _only_ clothing you own?"

Shizuo frowned as he reached a hand up to his hair, touching the brown roots.

He looked at Izaya for a moment, then scoffed. "Tch."

"Shizuuuu-chaaaan," Izaya leaned close, waving a hand in front of his face. "Hello? Are you ready for our date?"

"No way in hell am I going on a date with _you_!"

"Oh really?"

Shizuo glared.

"Even if I…buy you hair dye?"

"I don't swing that way!" Shizuo snarled. "And even if I did you're not my type! You're the last person I would date!"

He clenched his fist, glaring, "Now get out of my house and Ikebukuro!"

"Mmmm," Izaya turned, a contemplative look on his face.

"You know, I heard Kasuka-kun will be going on a date with his girlfriend today."

"Huh?"

"Hijiribe Ruri, right?" Izaya smiled, turning back round to the puzzled Shizuo.

"Since Shizu-chan doesn't want to go on a date with me, maybe I could go pay a little visit to Kasuka-kun and Ruri-chan -"

"Don't you DARE!"

Izaya ducked the blow and stepped back, regarding Shizuo with a sly smile.

"But I'm bored since Shizu-chan doesn't want to go on a date with me…so I have no choice but to visit Kasuka-kun and Ruri-chan…"

Izaya twirled out of the way of another punch, smiling tauntingly.

"Right, Shizu…-chan?"

Shizuo looked conflicted. Izaya blinked, then turned and made his way towards the door.

"Well, I'll see myself out then. Bye Shizu-chan -"

Shizuo clenched his teeth.

"I-Izaya!"

"Hm?" Izaya peeked over his shoulder.

"Yes...Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo was grinding his teeth.

_Fucking louse, blackmailing me like this!_

If he chased after the flea they would end up disturbing Kasuka's and his girlfriend's date. He sighed, trying to control his anger.

_This is for Kasuka, Kasuka…_

"Or, I might tell my dear little sisters where their precious Yuuhei-san is today…"

_Mairu and Kururi?_

"Which do you think is better, Shizu-chan?"

_Damn it! It's for Kasuka…Kasuka!_

"Date."

"Eh?"

"I'll go…" Shizuo swallowed, "On a date with you."

"Ehhhh?" Izaya drawled, a hand to his ear and a smirk on his face, "What was that, Shizu-chan? You're too soft, I can't hear you!" 

"I SAID I'LL GO ON A FUCKING DATE WITH YOU!"

Izaya's smirk widened. He turned back around and strode towards the trembling Shizuo, who growled.

"You better get me the damn hair dye." He said.

"And if you piss me off I'll kill you."

"Yes yes," Izaya replied easily. He reached up and Shizuo blinked as slender fingers took hold of his bowtie. "But not now."

"Why?" Shizuo frowned. "And what are you doing?" He said in annoyance.

"Your bowtie's crooked," Izaya said. He adjusted the bowtie then patted Shizuo's shoulders with a wide smile.

"There! Looking good, Shizu-chan."

"Answer my question, damn flea! And don't touch me!"

"Isn't it obvious? People will recognize you." 

Izaya removed his hands from Shizuo's shoulders and spread them, smiling, "I can blend in well with my beloved humans, but you…"

He shrugged. "I bet a protozoan brute like you doesn't know the meaning of stealth!"

Shizuo stared, then sighed in defeat. He didn't want to deal with any annoying people today if he could help it. Losing his temper would only amuse the louse.

"Fine," he grumbled. "Where are we going anyway?"

Izaya smiled, "You'll see." He said.

He reached out and grabbed Shizuo's arm, beaming up at the twitching blond.

"It's a date then, Shizu-chan!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shizuo stared at the people around him. Everywhere he looked there were couples, family, children, food stalls, various attractions. The place was bustling with noise and laughter and screams and shouts and was not at all peaceful.

"Shizu-chan, hurry up!"

Shizuo scowled. He walked hesitantly forward, looking around him. No one seemed to recognize him.

"This date sucks."

"How would you know that? You've never gone on a date or have had a girlfriend before, have you?" Izaya teased and Shizuo glared. "Ah don't worry, I shall be Shizu-chan's girlfriend for today!"

Shizuo stared until he realized that he was supposed to respond to the ridiculous statement. "Which part of you is a girl?"

Izaya waved a casual hand, "Technicalities, technicalities," the blond started as Izaya looped his arm through Shizuo's, "Let's go, Shizu-chan!"

Shizuo gritted his teeth as Izaya dragged him away, "Stop calling me that ridiculous nickname!"

"Ehhhhhh, but your girlfriend has to give you a cute nickname!" Shizuo grimaced as Izaya winked at him, "Isn't Shizu-chan cute?"

"Hell no! And you always call me that anyway!"

Shizuo sneered down at glittering crimson eyes, "Unless you think framing me for crimes I didn't commit and making my life hell constitutes being my girlfriend." 

"And what if I do?"

Shizuo stared, "Are you really that screwed up in the head?"

There was a short silence, and Shizuo was beginning to genuinely worry until Izaya grinned and burst out laughing at him.

"Hahaha! Your expression is hilarious! Hey Shizu-chan," he smirked tauntingly, lifting a casual hand, his voice low in amusement. "You really believed me?"

Shizuo twitched, as Izaya continued, "Ah, I just like to screw with Shizu-chan, it's so fun!"

The black haired man smiled slyly.

"But for today, I want to spend the day with Shizu-chan!"

"So," Shizuo blinked as a slender finger tapped his nose, "Behave, okay?"

Izaya dodged the fist that came swinging at him, grinning as he placed his hands on his hips. "Ah, Shizu-chan is such a baaaad boyfriend!"

He lamented mockingly, amusement in his eyes.

"Hitting his girlfriend on their date, no wonder no girls want to be with you!"

"Fucking louse! We're not on a date! I'm just tolerating your presence for Kasuka's sake!"

Izaya jumped neatly out of the way of Shizuo's other fist, feeling amused as he saw the bodyguard's enraged eyes move to a conveniently located signpost.

"Now Shizu-chan, there are children around! You wouldn't want to scar their innocent little minds, would you?"

Shizuo paused. He looked around at the happy children and their doting parents amongst the teenage couples in the amusement park. He thought of the fear they would feel if they saw him uprooting that sign post.

He clenched his teeth.

The children didn't need to see a monster so early in their lives.

Izaya, seemingly oblivious to his inner turmoil, turned and skipped happily forward, "Come on, Shizu-chan!"

Shizuo wondered what the informant had up his sleeves. Probably knives to stab him when he least expected it. The man in a bartender suit growled.

"Kill…kill…kill…"

"Shizu-chan," Izaya sang, "You'll scare the children!"

Shizuo growled louder.

"Mummy mummy," a small girl tugged at her mother's hand, "Why is that man growling like a dog?"

Shizuo froze as Izaya choked with laughter.

"Shhhh Aki-chan! Don't ask weird questions! He may hear you!"

"But…" the little girl looked up at him, "He doesn't seem like a bad person."

Shizuo blinked, then attempted a smile at the little girl, who smiled back at him.

"Hey." He said softly.

"Oh?" Izaya said, making his way to Shizuo's side with an amused expression. "Shizu-chan likes children?"

Shizuo resisted the urge to growl and slam his fist into Izaya's face. Such a young girl didn't have to see violence.

"Aki-chan!" The woman tugged at her daughter's hand with a light reprimand. She bowed. "I'm sorry for disturbing you, we'll be taking our leave now." 

The little girl waved as her mother lead her away, "Bye bye Onii-chan!"

"Bye." Shizuo said fondly.

He watched the child walk away, then turned as he felt Izaya's gaze on him.

"What?"

Izaya blinked, then smiled.

"Where do you want to go, Shizu-chan?"

"Far away from you!"

Izaya just smiled and grabbed his hand, pointing his finger skywards.

"I know, let's go on the roller coaster!"

 

 

 

 

 

The moment Shizuo had gotten into that damned car, he had a feeling it was a bad idea.

And that feeling was being proven now, as deafening screams assaulted his ears and the wind whipped his hair about his face as Izaya clung to him even though he wasn't scared at all like the noisy people behind him, judging by that maniac grin on the stupid flea's face.

"Wheeeeee! This is so FUNNNNN!"

"Damn flea- woah!"

"AHHHH, SEIJI-SAN!" A feminine voice pierced his ears and he scowled, "I'm scared!"

"Don't worry," an emotionless male voice said, only slightly breathless with the racing wind. "I will protect you."

"Waaaaah! Seiji-san I love you! That's right, with your love, " the girl seemed to have gained determination, "I'm not scared!"

Shizuo scowled as the rollercoaster took another crazy turn. What was there to be scared of? It wasn't that fast. He had to run faster when chasing the flea.

Though the loops here and there were making him a bit dizzy.

"Wah Shizu-chan, I'm scared!" The damn flea was still clinging on to his arm with the tenacity of, well, a flea. "Protect me!"

Shizuo decided to not deign him with a reply and commended himself for his self control.

_Yeah, let the flea make a fool of himself in front of these strangers._

_Didn't he say just now it was fun?_

_...Stupid flea._

"Eh Shizu-chan, don't you know what to do when your girlfriend is scared?" Izaya shouted over the wind. Shizuo glared.

"Aw, why can't you be like the guy behind you? He's such a caring boyfriend!" Izaya sounded amused for a reason Shizuo didn't want to know.

"Oh Seiji-san, I love you!" The girl - Love Girl declared way too loud for Shizuo's abused ears as they accelerated down into twice the speed in a sharp curve and everyone else behind them screamed.

"WITH SEIJI-SAN'S LOVE, I'M NO LONGER AFRAID!"

"That's right Mika." The boy's - Robot Boy's voice sounded too calm for someone on a roller coaster ride, "Our love will conquer all."

"Oh Seiji-san! You're so romantic!"

"Oh Shizu-chan!" Izaya had to add his own two cents, and Shizuo felt his eyebrow twitch. "Why can't you be that romantic, hmm?"

Shizuo snapped.

"SHUT UP OR I'LL THROW YOU OUT AND LET THIS THING RUN YOU OVER INTO FLEA GOO!"

"WOW!" Izaya yelled back with a smile in an effort to make his voice heard against the strong turbulence.

"SHIZU-CHAN'S SCARY! NOW I'M REALLY SCARED - !"

_Fuck, when is this going to end?!_  
  
Not only was Shizuo forced to ride the rollercoaster with Izaya, he was sitting in front of a lovey dovey but dysfunctional couple with the girl screaming declarations of love and the boy sounding like a robot.

Their voices were familiar but he didn't know their names so he decided to call them Love Girl and Robot Boy.  
  
_Annoying annoying ANNOYING!_

"Shizuuuuu-chaaan," Izaya dragged his so called nickname like he wanted to drag the flea's body across the roller coaster tracks.

Shizuo closed his eyes and moved his hair away before it poked his eye, as Izaya clutched onto his arm like the flea he was.

"I think we're on the last lap! Brace yourself!"

Shizuo opened his eyes and smoothed his hair back, only for it to go flying in all directions as the roller coaster increased its velocity about three times more. 

"AHHHHHHH, SEIJI-SAAAAAAN!"

"I WILL PROTECT YOU, MIKA."

"SHIZUUUUU-CHAAAAN! SAVE MEEE!"

"LET GO OF MY ARM, IZAYAAAAA-KUUN!"

"NOOOOOO - !"

Just when Shizuo was about to strangle the information broker, somewhere in the mist of screaming people except Robot Boy, the flea's yells and clinging to his arm, the rush of merciless wind and the undeniable thrill, the roller coaster reached the bottom and began to slow down, before coming to a final stop.

People scrambled out of their seats and got down, with some puking noises heard which made Shizuo scowl in disgust. He ripped his arm away from Izaya's grip and got out, raising a hand to his forehead and muttering as he shook off the slight wave of dizziness that suddenly assaulted him.

"I need a smoke."

He scoffed at the no smoking sign.

"Woah! That was one hell of a ride! Wasn't it, Shizu-chan?!"

The flea said and Shizuo would have punched him if he wasn't trying to get rid of the dizziness.

"Are you alright, Mika?" He heard Robot Boy say.

"I'm fine, Seiji-san!" Love Girl replied cheerfully. "Because I have your love! I do feel dizzy though…"

"Me too. Let's go sit down." Robot Boy suggested.

"Yes, Seiji-san!" Love Girl squealed.

Shizuo rubbed his temples as the dizziness faded. He turned and looked at Izaya, raising an eyebrow as he saw the information broker with his phone out and smiling.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Izaya smiled in amusement as he captured a picture of Seiji and Mika and then closed his phone, pocketing it.

"Just getting a little present for my dear secretary."

"Huh?"

Izaya stepped forward, and Shizuo raised an eyebrow as the informant stumbled, before righting himself.

"Hey flea. You alright?"

"Aww, you're worried about me? How unexpected!"

Izaya smiled as he made a show of stumbling, "Ah I'm going to fall! Catch me in your arms, Shizu-chan!"

Shizuo eyed the stumbling flea in disdain and scoffed. If Izaya could joke like that then he sure as hell was alright.

Not that he cared, he'd just looked so pathetic just now that he'd voiced the question before he could help it.

"Shut up. Where do you want to go next?"

Izaya blinked. He straightened, and smiled. "Oh? That's surprising."

"Don't get me wrong," Shizuo frowned. "This isn't a date. I just said I'll tolerate your company and I will."

It was for Kasuka after all.

"So stop wasting my time and tell me where you want to go."

"…How unpredictable."

Izaya murmured, walking past Shizuo with a smile.

"That's why I hate you, Shizu-chan."

"Yeah whatever. Now where do you want to go?"

Izaya thought for a moment, then smirked.

"What about the Haunted House?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Next chapter: Kanra-chan, Fleeing with the Flea and the Monster Coaster_

* * *

 

_"H-Heiwajima Shizuo? The guy who survived Horada's attack?!"_

_"Then, that means, you're…"_

_"Orihara Izaya?!"_

 

_"Oh but she left you, didn't she? Poor guy. Haven't you ever wondered about where she went? Leaving you without a word of goodbye, just disappearing from your life forever…"_

_"It's not like anyone will believe you anyway! Kanra-chan's just a girl! Right, Shizu-chan?"_

 

_"_ _It's not that I'm busy, but I'll give you only three seconds to get out of my sight. One."_

_"You hit me. That means you are prepared for me to hit you, RIGHT?!"_

 

_"Now now, what are you guys doing harassing this pretty lady? Bullying is bad, don't you know?"_

_"Even though the expression on your face is entertaining, I don't have the time to play with you anymore. So won't you let Kanra-chan go?"_

 

_"Don't worry. That's why I've got your hand, Izaya."_

 

_"NOW THIS IS WHAT I CALL A FUCKING WILD ROLLER COASTER RIDE!"_

_"SHIZU-CHAN IS REALLY A MONSTER! I'M NEVER GOING ON A DATE WITH YOU EVER AGAIN!"_

_"SERVES YOU RIGHT, IZAYAAAA! NO WONDER THIS IS CALLED THE AMUSEMENT PARK! THIS IS INDEED AMUSING!"_

 

_"I'M ON A FUCKING DATE HERE DAMN IT! GET LOST OR I WON'T HOLD BACK!"_

 

 


	4. Kanra-chan and the Monster Coaster

 

 

 

"Hey Shizu-chan, Shizu-chan!"

"What?"

Shizuo retorted, wishing he could smoke. He'd blow the smoke into the flea's face. Maybe then he would finally shut up.

"They're bullying that girl, right?"

"Huh?"

"Over there, you protozoan," Shizuo blinked as Izaya turned his cheek. "Isn't that bullying? They're harassing her."

"Don't touch me!" Izaya held up his hands in a peaceful gesture before Shizuo could grab his hand and break it. Shizuo growled. "Even in a place like this…"

"Such deviants of society, huh?" Izaya sounded amused and Shizuo watched as he skipped towards the two men harassing the girl in a fairly isolated corner.

 

 

 

"Let me go!"

"Aw c'mon babe, don't be like that."

"What're are you doing all by your lonesome?"

"Yeah, why don't we show you a good time?"

"Heeeeeeeey!" Izaya interrupted cheerfully, placing his hands on his hips and leaning forward with a smile. "What are you guys doing?"

"Tch. Who the hell are you?" The guy with the red hair raised an eyebrow.

"Tch! Harassing a woman…in a place like this…it's the type of thing I really hate," Shizuo growled lowly as he stepped forward, cracking his knuckles, "It's not that I'm busy, but I'll give you only _three seconds_ to get out of my sight. One."

"Two!" Izaya continued brightly.

Shizuo glared at him. "Three -"

"Hah! You don't scare us, big guy!"

"Yeah, just take your boyfriend and scram!"

Shizuo turned his glare to them, snapping, "HUH?! _WHO_ THE HELL IS MY BOYFRIEND?!"

"Aw Shizu-chan, don't be shy! Ah wait," Izaya paused, then smiled, "That's right, I'm not your boyfriend."

Shizuo stared, then let out a sigh of relief.

The stupid flea seemed to finally be back to normal.

Now all he had to do was drag him away from this place to kill him in a place where it wouldn't scar any children, after he dealt with these guys -

"I'm Shizu-chan's girlfriend!"

Shizuo choked.

"Riiight, Shizu-chan?"

"FUCKING HELL NO!"

"How mean, Shizu-chan!" Izaya sighed. He smirked as Shizuo spluttered, "I'll have you know I can be a really convincing girl!" He said.

Shizuo didn't want to imagine. So he didn't, and growled instead, "Spare me."

He moved his narrowed gaze to the guys, "You guys have taken up almost a _minute_ of my life." He said lowly.

His fist clenched as he advanced forward. "I'm only holding back because there are children around. You better get lost _now_."

"Shizu-chan's no fun!" Izaya threw his hands up in the air and pouted in a manner that was decidedly feminine – stupid fucking louse probably did it on purpose to piss him off – and Shizuo watched with narrowed eyes as the informant turned to the two guys who stared at him like he was crazy.

"Now now, what are you guys doing harassing this pretty lady?" He swept out a hand, an amused smirk on his lips, "Bullying is bad, don't you know?"

The first guy sneered, "None of your business, fag!"

"Yeah, why don't you take your gay boyfriend and scram!" The second added.

Shizuo growled.

Izaya blinked. Then he smiled widely, "Ah, you really shouldn't say that," he shrugged casually, pointing an elegant finger at the fuming Shizuo. "Don't you recognize him?"

"Kill…kill…kill…"

"Huh?"

Izaya sighed, "You guys are even more ignorant than I thought!" He tapped a finger to his chin with a sly smile, "Ah but I suppose that's because he doesn't have his sunglasses on…"

"Shut the fuck up, fag!" The first guy roared, charging forward to deal a punch to Izaya's smirking face. The informant smirked and sidestepped neatly out of the way, and the man found his fist making impact with the face of the tall blond behind him.

Izaya blinked. "Ah."

Shizuo's head whipped to the side. He blinked, and rubbed his face. "You…hit me."

"You hit me." The man took a frightened step backwards at the sudden anger twisting the blond's expression as blue eyes glared. "You hit me, you threw the first blow," the man let out a fearful cry as Shizuo grabbed hold of his collar and lifted him above the ground with a crazy grin on his face.

"That means you are prepared for me to hit you, RIGHT?!" Shizuo gave a feral grin, "Great timing, all day long I've been just _waiting_ to take my anger out on somebody…why don't I let you have the privilege?!"

Izaya just smiled in amusement as the man let out a frightened whimper, "Now now Shizu-chan," he stepped forward, "Go easy on him, yeah?"

The information broker gave a careless shrug, "You can't send him flying across to the roller coaster over there," he said in amusement, following the direction of the monster's insane gaze as the man squeaked, "What would the people think? Remember the children~!"

"Shut the fuck up or I'll throw _you_ so hard you'll be a new decoration for the fucking ferris wheel!" Shizuo roared.

Izaya blinked, then sighed, "I'm just trying to help, Shizu-chan!" He lamented, "But I guess I forgot your protozoan brain doesn't listen to reason…"

He smiled.

"That's why I hate you."

"L-Let me go!" The terrified purple haired man cried out as Shizuo growled and lifted him further into the air.

The brown haired girl whom they had saved let out a scared shriek, which Izaya helpfully pointed out, "Hey Shizu-chan, you're scaring the poor girl!" He said, as whispers and murmurs started around them, and some children began to cry in fright. "And you're attracting attention too!"

Shizuo snarled and relented. He flung the man forwards into his companion, sending him crashing into him to the ground. The girl gasped and stepped to the side.

Shizuo clenched his fist and tried to control himself as he heard kids wailing. He hoped that little girl Aki wasn't one of them.

Izaya smiled in satisfaction and strode casually forward where the men were separating from each other with pained groans. He gave the one with dyed red hair an amused smile, "Umareshi Midori, right?"

"W-What? How -"

"Umareshi Midori, age eighteen, your favourite food is wasabi sushi, you dyed your hair because you thought it was cool, your original hair color is black, you were part of the Yellow Scarves once but after the gang war, you were hospitalized and you quit, " Izaya smiled at the stunned red haired man, "Height is 180cm, Weight is 76kg-"

The red haired man leapt to his feet in anger, "W-Who the hell are you, you bastard?!"

Izaya smiled and slid his hands into his pockets as Shizuo stared at him, "Oh, and your favourite type of girl is the cute, hyper type," he smirked, "Like that girl Kanra who you considered to be your online girlfriend."

"W-What -"

"Oh but she left you, didn't she?" Izaya sighed, locking his hands behind his head as he smirked, "Poor guy. Haven't you ever wondered about where she went? Leaving you without a word of goodbye, just disappearing from your life forever…"

"B-Bastard! What the hell did you do to her?!"

"Oh, I didn't do anything to her! She left you of her own accord!"

"Liar! Kanra- Kanra-chan," Midori clenched his fist, "She said she liked me! I…loved her!" He roared. "She loved me too!"

Izaya shook his head, "Midori-kun, don't go putting words in Kanra-chan's mouth," he drawled, sliding his hands into the pockets of his fur coat, "If I remember, her exact words were…"

He cleared his throat, looked the confused man in the eyes and pitched his voice, placing his hands behind his back and leaning forward as he spoke in a feminine tone.

_"Midori-kun…I-I'm not sure. I think I might like you, but I'm not sure about love. Will you…wait for me?"_

The man froze as Izaya stepped forward towards him, "Y-You…"

"And you waited until now for her, really, I admire your dedication!" Izaya spoke normally, as he threw his hands up into the air into an exaggerated gesture, a smirk on his face. "So now, _Kanra-chan_ is here to give you her answer."

Shizuo stared as the black haired man stalked forward, "Kanra-chan was only using you for information on the Yellow Scarves," he purred, looking the other man in the eyes, "Sorry to say this Midori-kun, but Kanra _never_ existed."

"But how…" Midori stuttered. "Y-You're lying!"

"I know so much about her! You- you must be her brother, right?! Kanra- she likes the color purple, she said she's tall for a girl, she was- was part of the Blue Squares but she quit - she joined the Dollars - "

"You remember? Well I was telling the truth! Kind of. I am part of the Dollars, though I prefer the color red -"

"Hey flea," Shizuo finally spoke, confusion on his face which had driven his anger away. "What the hell is going on?"

"Ah Shizu-chan," Izaya said leisurely, "Remember when I told you I can make a very convincing girl?"

He smirked. "Well, this," he pointed casually at the trembling man, "Is the result."

"Interesting, isn't it? The things humans will do for love! Trusting someone they haven't ever seen!"

Izaya smiled and skipped forward. "Midori-kun," he addressed the hurt man, closing his eye in a feminine wink, "Thanks! You were a great help to Kanra-chan!"

"BASTARD! I LOVED HER!"

"Sorry," Izaya waved a casual hand, an expression of boredom on his face, "It was fun playing with you Midori-kun, but you're not my type."

He sighed, "Ah I love all humans of course, but for a human you're quite pathetic!" He spread his hands, "Oh but don't worry, since I'm so generous I'll still give you my love, you're a human after all." 

"But I suppose you don't want my love, you want," the raven haired informant placed his hand on his heart in a mocking gesture, "Kanra-chan's love. Which you'll never have. How can you get the love of someone who never existed?"

He grinned, spreading his arms as if heralding the start of a long anticipated show, "Welcome to reality, Midori-kun!"

Izaya leapt gracefully out of the way of the weak punch, whipping out his switchblade with an amused grin.

"Now Midori-kun, even though the expression on your face is entertaining," his crimson eyes narrowed as he pointed the sharp edge of the blade, "I don't have the time to play with you anymore. So won't you let Kanra-chan go?"

"After all, I have a new boyfriend now!" Shizuo glared as Izaya declared happily and linked their arms, "Isn't that right, Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo sneered, "I'm not your boyfriend, fucking flea!"

Izaya sighed, "Shizu-chan is so _tsun tsun_!" 

"What the _hell_ does that mean?!"

"H-Heiwajima Shizuo? The guy who survived Horada's attack?!" The man stuttered, eyes wide.

Shizuo frowned. "Horada?" He did not recognize the name.

"Then, that means, you're…"

"Orihara Izaya?!" The purple haired man gasped.

Midori was still in shock. "B-But Kanra-chan…" his voice broke.

"Was in the Dollars!" His companion reminded, teeth gritted in anger, "I told you there was something fucking fishy about her!"

"But I thought she didn't want to join us because she's just a normal girl! She said she just joined the Dollars because of her friend -"

" _Girl?!_ She's Orihara Izaya!"

"Do I look like a girl to you?" Amusement dripped from Izaya's voice as he held his switchblade securely, "Come on Midori-kun, the proof is right in front of you."

"Oh and if you or your friend tell anyone who Kanra-chan really is," Izaya's eyes glinted and Midori gasped as the knife barely missed by an inch, embedding itself into the wall as blood dripped down the side of his head. Izaya smiled. "The consequences won't be pretty. So do me a favor won't you…Midori-kun?"

The red haired man stared, then slumped against the wall to the floor, his tall frame shaking, his brain still not absorbing the information which compounded his entire world.

"Ah but," Izaya shrugged, then smirked, "It's not like anyone will believe you anyway! Kanra-chan's just a girl."

He smiled and leaned his head against Shizuo's shoulder, holding on to his arm again, "Right, Shizu-chan?"

"Don't involve me in your fucked up games, gender confused flea!" Shizuo snapped, "And let go of me before I rip your arm off!"

"I-Is that really Orihara Izaya? Heiwajima Shizuo isn't trying to kill him." The purple haired man commented hesitantly. "Oi, Midori? You okay?"

"Maybe that isn't Heiwajima Shizuo…" Midori spoke as if in a trance. "It's not Heiwajima Shizuo, and it's not Orihara Izaya..." 

"That's right...Kanra-chan isn't Orihara Izaya...she can't be..." he mumbled dazedly.

"Hey, snap out of it man!" His companion shook his shoulders vigorously as he stared forward into blank space, "She's just a damn girl! I mean fuck, she's not _even_ a girl! You just got trolled, big deal!"

"Nicely put, Yoshimaru-kun!" Izaya called out cheerfully to the man, who turned and glared at him. "Ohh, you look like you want to rip me apart! Feeling a sense of friendship for Midori-kun?"

"Shut the fuck up! I don't know who the fuck you are but you sure as hell ain't Orihara Izaya! If you were, you wouldn't be hiding behind Heiwajima Shizuo! You're his fucking enemy! Or maybe that isn't Heiwajima Shizuo!"

"Huh?" Shizuo turned his frustrated gaze to the two men. He gritted his teeth. "Whoisn't Heiwajima Shizuo?"

"Wow, you're rambling! You're really that mad, huh?" Izaya said with an amused smile and shrug, "Hey, what goes around comes around, eh? If you and Midori-kun weren't bullying that girl, I wouldn't have revealed to your dear friend who his precious Kanra-chan actually was, right?"

"And isn't it _your_ fault for convincing him to harass the girl? The Midori-kun I knew wouldn't have resorted to such tactics!"

Yoshimaru was speechless and Izaya smirked as guilt appeared on his expression, "Ah humans are really so interesting!" He said in amusement, "Even a bully like you can feel guilt huh? Even you have someone important to you!"

"So Yoshimaru-kun, just go home quietly with your friend, won't you?" He winked. "Kanra-chan's last request!"

"Kanra...chan..."

Izaya nodded, still leaning his head against Shizuo's shoulder which had started to tremble in building anger, "Anyway, Shizu-chan is Shizu-chan!"

"That doesn't even make any fucking sense, flea!"

"Oh? I wasn't aware your protozoan brain had any sense! Shizu-chan's definition of sense must be different from mine."

Shizuo's could feel a vein throbbing in his temple as Izaya smiled up at him. His fist clenched, as a crazy grin began to make its way onto his face, "You bastard -"

"What's going on here?!"

Shizuo's face fell. "Shit."

"Ah. It's the security guards, Shizu-chan." Izaya said calmly as footsteps sounded behind them. "I guess we drew too much attention." He mused.

Shizuo looked back. "This is bad." He muttered. He didn't want to get caught. Sure, he had used violence; but for once, it was for a good cause. The guy had pissed him off and he had been saving the girl – with Izaya. Shizuo frowned.

"Mmm." Izaya said. He turned to Midori and his friend with a sly smile. "Hey Midori-kun and friend. Don't reveal our identities okay? Or you know what will happen," he narrowed his eyes.

"Especially Shizu-chan's, only I can mess with him." He said, a dangerous tone in his voice.

Shizuo stared. "Hey flea - woah!"

"Bye bye-bi!" Izaya waved cheerfully with a bright smile to Midori and his friend as he had Shizuo's wrist in his grasp. He turned to the girl who had been the cause of the whole situation in the first place (really, he had wanted to avoid any unnecessary distractions today), who looked terrified and relieved at the same time – an interesting expression, he thought vaguely. He smiled at her. "Help us out here, okay Ojou-chan? Take care!"

He looked up at Shizuo with a wry smile. "Ready to run, Shizu-chan?"

"Izaya - Izaya!" Shizuo shouted as Izaya sprinted away, taking him with him, however incredulous it seemed to him, as shouts echoed behind them.

"Not now Shizu-chan, it'll be troublesome if we get caught," Izaya said as he grasped Shizuo's hand. He sighed. "Even though we were only doing a good deed…Midori-kun had to complicate the matter. It'll take time for them to believe us, even if the girl vouches for us. And I'd rather not waste anymore precious time on our date."

Shizuo stared, then found himself agreeing with Izaya for once. With that knife in the wall, the bruises he had inflicted on the purple haired guy, the blood from that Midori guy's face and that girl's frightened expression, things wouldn't look good from the guards' point of view.

For once he was running away with Izaya from a troublesome situation, Shizuo had never thought such a situation would ever happen. He'd half thought Izaya would just leave him back there and reveal that he had staged the whole situation to frame him for something he didn't commit – again.

_Yeah, it would be something the flea would do._

_...This isn't like him._

Even though Izaya had used underhanded and fucked up means, something about having pretended to be a girl online and revealing it to the unlucky guy, he had done it for the girl. And if he wasn't wrong, had the flea told those bullies (Minoru and Yamimaru? He couldn't remember their names) to stop bullying and lead more honest lifestyles?

He had taunted them but Shizuo couldn't care less - he didn't care what their life story was or how fucked up it was (his own was more fucked up anyway and he didn't bully people and Izaya's was probably fucked up too since he turned out to be such an asshole but he didn't go so low as to harass women), he hated people who took advantage of and looked down on others. They deserved their just desserts, in his opinion. If they weren't in an amusement park, he would have sent them flying to the other side of the city. That would be his form of justice for trash like them.

But he and the flea- Izaya had similar morals? It was disturbing to even think of. And fucking impossible.

Shizuo frowned.

_What is he planning?_

"YOU TWO! STOP!"

"Hey Shizu-chan?" Izaya smiled as they ran away. "Ready to jump?"

The Merry Go Round was in front of them, blocking their path. Izaya leapt onto it easily, bringing Shizuo with him. They landed on top of the Merry Go Round's roof, causing surprised shouts and screams to fill the air and confused gasps.

"W-What?!"

The two most dangerous men of Ikebukuro jumped off the Merry Go Round and sprinted forward. Izaya had let go of Shizuo's hand so they could run faster, and he moved his gaze to another Roller Coaster.

"Hey! Where are we going anyway?" Shizuo asked.

"The Haunted House? Ah but it's on the other side. We went the wrong way." Izaya said. He sighed as he heard shouts behind them. "They sure are persistent, right Shizu-chan?"

"You mean that side?"

"Yeah."

"Then we're taking a shortcut," Izaya blinked as Shizuo grinned widely and grabbed his hand. "Get ready for a wild ride, Izaya-kun."

"Shizu-chan - wha!" Izaya inhaled as they landed on top of the Roller Coaster. He followed Shizuo's gaze. "…Shizu-chan, you're crazy."

Shizuo grinned at him, blue eyes amused. "I am."

"Are you ready, Izaya-kun?"

And then they were speeding off on the tracks of the Roller Coaster as the monster charged forward, dragging the information broker behind him. Shizuo grinned widely, an expression of pure excitement on his face as Izaya gasped behind him.

"Shizu-chan let go of my hand! I can run on my own!"

"Nope!"

"W-What if we get struck by the cars?! I don't want to die with Shizu-chan!"

Shizuo merely pointed forward, "They're ahead of us." He said simply. He smiled tauntingly.

"What's wrong? Too fast for you, I-zaya-kun?"

 

Izaya glared. He had escaped from Shizuo in the past by running from him, but also using the infrastructure of Ikebukuro to his advantage- such as signposts and poles and buildings he could jump on. Shizuo was always deterred when he did that, getting frustrated that he was 'leaping like a flea'.

But now, it wasn't height but speed and they were running straight ahead, up and down, round and round.

And Shizuo really was a monster. He didn't slow down even once and his grip on Izaya's hand was almost painful. If Izaya had been barefooted his feet would be bruised beyond repair.

"Shizu-chan you're crushing my hand!"

Shizuo surprisingly, obediently loosened his grip slightly. "Where's the Haunted House, Izaya-kun?!"

Izaya roamed his gaze, and pointed. "Over there." He said in bemusement. He inhaled as he was forced to keep up with Shizuo, feeling himself begin to get dizzy. "Shizu-chan I don't think they're chasing us anymore."

"I know! Screw them!" Shizuo shouted to the wind with a maniac's grin on his face, blue eyes glinting.

"Izaayaaaa-kun," he drew out, "There's a huge slope in front of us. Aren't you excited?"

"O-Only a monster like Shizu-chan would be excited!" Izaya grinned, half in nervousness, half in amusement, "Shizu-chan, this is _not_ my idea of parkour! I prefer my tall buildings and running away and not with you!"

Shizuo turned and gave him a grin which reflected the amusement in his blue eyes. "Too bad."

Izaya paled as he saw the tracks that curved like a ribbon in front of him. Or a giant snake. Give him running up building walls any day.

"Shizu-chan," he managed, "Really, I'm going to lose my balance and fall and get a concussion. That wouldn't be a good thing to happen on our date, would it?"

"Don't worry," Shizuo said and he must really be enjoying himself for he gave Izaya a smile. He tightened his grip slightly.

"That's why I've got your hand, Izaya."

Those words would have been romantic and Izaya might have blushed had they not been in such an insane situation. But he had never expected Shizuo to smile (Shizu-chan was always scowling or glaring or frowning at him) and his cheeks flushed as his heart skipped a beat, not because he liked Shizuo (oh no, he hated Shizu-chan) but because nobody had ever said something so…surprising to him.

"I don't trust Shizu-chan."

"Do you want me to throw you down the slope instead?"

"No thanks," Izaya said quickly. He clasped Shizuo's hand, averting his gaze, "I'll just hold on tight to Shizu-chan."

 _I don't want to die._ _Wouldn't that be proving Namie right anyway? Running on the Roller Coaster…why must Shizu-chan be so unpredictable?!_

"Mmm." Shizuo said. They had been running on surprisingly even tracks – the calm before the storm, Izaya supposed. Shizuo smiled. "Here we go."

And then they were charging up the tracks and Izaya felt the wind whip past his face almost literally - the force so strong it was like the lash of a whip. They reached the top and Izaya didn't even have time to admire the view before the monster holding his hand sprinted down.

Izaya let out a strangled scream.

If they had been going fast before, they were practically running at the speed of the wind now as gravity pulled them down. The tracks were not at all good to run on and they were running in a curve, practically running upside down and Izaya felt as if he was running on nothing at all and in danger of falling off any moment.

It was different when he was in the car, he had support. No wonder no one had ever tried to run on Roller Coasters. The breath left his lungs, stolen by the speed and wind and his head spun oh goodness, he was going to faint and die – Shizuo would be happy if he died today, wouldn't he -

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Shizuo laughed crazily like the monster he was with an insane grin and wide blue eyes as he tore down the Roller Coaster tracks like he was running in the streets of Ikebukuro chasing after the flea which he now had a hold of. "NOW THIS IS WHAT I CALL A FUCKING WILD ROLLER COASTER RIDE!"

"ISN'T THIS FUN, IZAYAAAAAA-KUN?!"

"SHIZU-CHAN!" Izaya cried out, as his vision swam, "DAMN IT SHIZU-CHAN, YOU'RE CRAZY! I'M REALLY SCARED NOW!"

"AWWW, DON'T BE SCARED, IZAYA-KUN!"

"SHIZU-CHAN IS REALLY A MONSTER!" Izaya screamed out, glaring at Shizuo's back. "I'M NEVER GOING ON A DATE WITH YOU EVER AGAIN!"

Shizuo laughed like the monster he was, as he turned with an insane glint in his blue eyes and a grin so taunting it made Izaya twitch. "SERVES YOU RIGHT, IZAYAAA!"

"NO WONDER THIS IS CALLED THE AMUSEMENT PARK! THIS IS INDEED AMUSING!"

"STUPID SHIZU-CHAN I HATE YOU! YOU PROTOZOAN BRUTE!"

"I HATE YOU TOO, IZAAAAAYA-KUN!"

But Izaya couldn't deny the thrill with attempting such a dangerous act. It was almost like parkour, but different and more dangerous since even though Izaya had perfect balance, the speed Shizuo was forcing him to keep up with could upset his balance anytime. Shizuo didn't allow him to build his own pace and it was harder to keep his balance.

But Shizuo seemed to be feeling that thrill much more strongly and seeing Shizuo grinning with excitement and fearlessness and happiness in his blue eyes as he threw back his head and laughed and shouted his hatred for him and roared to the wind whipping his blond hair with brown roots into crazy angles like the monster he was, Izaya couldn't help but smile.

_Shizu-chan really is a monster. Ahhhh when is this going to end?_

The wind was rushing past so fast he could barely hear the surprised screams and shouts of the people who had seen them on the Roller Coaster. Just as Izaya felt his lungs were about to give out, they reached the bottom of the slope.

Izaya gasped as Shizuo continued tearing forward, "Shizu-chan…Haunted…House."

"Oh right." Shizuo said, as if he had forgotten their original intention. "Where is it?"

"Over…there." Izaya inhaled. "Shizu-chan you realize we've just attracted more attention…"

"Who cares?" Shizuo shrugged, grinning, "This is fun, isn't it?"

Izaya smiled tiredly. "Shizu-chan's idea of fun is very different from mine…"

But it was.

"Still have energy to jump, Izaya?"

"Who do you think I am?"

Shizuo smirked. He turned his head as sweat slid down his face. He hopped off the Roller Coaster as if he was hopping off a slide and landed on the ground with Izaya. He ran to the Haunted House, ignoring the gasps of people.

"D-Did they really just _run_ on the Roller Coaster?"

"They're _crazy_!"

"Hey, hey! Did you videotape it?!"

"Man, this is so going on the news."

Shizuo growled. He stopped in front of the Haunted House as people clustered around them.

"Hey hey, how did you guys do that?!"

"Are you crazy?! The security guards will catch you!"

"Who are you guys?!"

"That was so cool, Onii-chan! I want to do that too!"

"Don't say such things, Aki-chan!"

Shizuo started. He turned and smiled at the little girl Aki. "Hey again."

Aki beamed brightly up at him. "Hello!" She said. "Can you teach me how to run on the Roller Coaster, Onii-chan?"

"Aki-chan!"

"Nah," Shizuo said with a sheepish grin, raising his free hand to scratch the back of his head, "It's too dangerous for kids."

Izaya snorted. "It's dangerous for everyone except monsters." He muttered.

Shizuo grinned. "Guess you couldn't keep up huh, Izaya-kun?" He taunted.

"Shut up, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo laughed.

"Hey, so how did you do that?!"

"That guy looks sort of familiar…"

"Eh, is he holding hands with the other guy?"

"They're…together?"

"They're gay?!"

"O-Oh my god! I-It's - mph!"

"It's your imagination!"

"B-But it really is…!"

"It isn't!"

"I-Izaya? That guy..."

"Hey big guy! I'm talking to you!"

"Hey Shizu-chan," Izaya said as Shizuo growled. He looked up. "We've just attracted more attention. Maybe you should let go of my hand. And this is the exit."

Shizuo snapped.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" He turned and bellowed, blue eyes flashing and blond hair swept crazily over his wild eyes. "I'M ON A FUCKING DATE HERE DAMN IT! GET LOST OR I WON'T HOLD BACK!"

There was a heavy silence as the echoes of Shizuo's shout faded. Shizuo gritted his teeth.

All he wanted was some peace, was that so much to ask for? So what if he just ran on the roller coaster?

He did it because he liked it and wanted to, he'd taken Izaya with him because if anyone could keep up with him, it was the flea, he loved the fucking thrill from going at such a wild speed.

He didn't do it so these people could bombard him with questions.

 

"…Onii-chan." Aki tentatively broke the silence as she looked up at him with apprehensive eyes. "Sorry. Please don't be mad."

"Shizu-chan." Izaya said softly. Despite his previous words, he tightened his grip on Shizuo's hand, whispering. "Calm down."

Usually he would have been amused if Shizuo had snapped, but somehow, this time was different. Maybe it was because, as strange as it had been, he had been involved with Shizuo when he had drawn attention to himself. He'd planned this date and he'd really wanted to spend time with Shizuo, just for one day. No matter how Shizuo thought of it.

But it seemed that Shizuo wanted to spend time with him too. Today his plan wasn't to get Shizuo into trouble.

Izaya frowned. These people were ruining his plan. Just for this one day, he had planned to do something different, as a sort of experiment, but his humans just had to ruin it.

If Izaya didn't love his humans so much, he would have been as pissed off as Shizuo.

"…Izaya." Shizuo murmured. He clasped Izaya's hand back. "We're crossing the roof to the other side."

He turned and looked down at Aki. "Sorry kid," he smiled slightly. "I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted peace."

Aki nodded, and looked up at him with trusting eyes. "Peace is good," she said, "I can understand why Onii-chan wants peace."

Shizuo blinked, then smiled. "Yeah." He turned, glad the kid wasn't afraid of him. "Well, see you."

He looked at Izaya, thought for a bit then reached to pull the hood of his jacket over his head. "Just in case." Shizuo muttered as Izaya blinked. "Even you're not blending in now."

"Hey -" A man started forward as Shizuo and Izaya walked towards the Haunted House.

"Please stop! Can't you see they just want peace?"

Shizuo and Izaya turned in surprise, to the sight of the brown haired girl they had saved just now. She smiled shyly at them. "I wanted to repay my debt." She bowed. "Thank you for just now."

She stood tall and looked around at the surprised people around her. "I believe this is none of our business. He didn't do it to draw attention." She said evenly. "If he wants to be left alone, we should respect his decision, should we not?"

"Hey lady, if a guy just runs down the Rollercoaster like that and doesn't injure himself he can't expect to not be questioned!"

"Yeah! He should be on the news! That's – inhuman!"

"That's like something that Heiwajima Shizuo would do!"

"The strongest man in Ikebukuro, right?"

The girl stood firm, "But he doesn't want to answer any of your questions, and he has no obligation to."

"Come on." Shizuo said to Izaya as he ignored the comments. "She'll be fine."

Izaya nodded. Just now, she had just been a victim, and now she was their so called savior. He hadn't expected that of her, he had been having fun with Midori-kun and his interesting expressions at the revelation.

He smiled. Humans were surprising. He vaguely decided she was his favorite human out of the crowd surrounding them.

"Shizu-chan, you can let go of my hand."

"…Yeah." Shizuo said awkwardly. He dropped Izaya's hand with what almost seemed like reluctance. Izaya took his hand back and massaged it.

Shizuo's grip was really tight.

Shizuo sprinted forward and ran up the wall of the Haunted House. Izaya flexed his hand, then followed him, as people predictably gasped.

"T-They're!"

"Kyaaaa! I knew it!"

"Karisawa-san!"

"I-Isn't he wearing a bartender suit-"

_"Heiwajima Shizuo?!"_

"Then that -"

"B-But he isn't attacking him!"

 

 

The shouts and yells faded behind them as Shizuo and Izaya ran along the roof of the Haunted House. The scenery flew past them and they soon neared the other end.

Shizuo stopped. He turned and looked at Izaya, noticing his face was paler than usual.

"…You alright?"

Izaya looked up. He smirked and pushed his hood back, brushing his black hair away from his eyes.

Shizuo watched as Izaya walked towards him.

He stopped in front of him then leaned forward, letting his forehead rest against Shizuo's chest.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Next chapter: Mikado and Anri and Matchmaker Izaya_

* * *

 

_"Shizu-chan is really such a monster. We couldn't have a normal date, could we?"_

 

_"I-Izaya-san?! W-Where did you come from?!"_

 

_"Ah Mikado-kun! It's Ryuugamine again, huh? That's not good progress, is it?"_

_"Y-You should concentrate on your own date, Izaya-san!"_

_"Oh, me? Shizu-chan and I are already on close terms! Right, Shizu-chan?"_

 

_"So…What do you guys do?"_

_"Eh, the normal. Try to kill the flea, save a girl from being harassed, run down the roller coaster-"_

_"R-Run down the roller coaster?!"_

_"Hmm? Yeah. Why?"_

 

_"See? Be more of a man! Be daring, Mikado-kun!"_

_"What is that damn flea doing? Doesn't he know he's disturbing the kid's date?"_

 

_"If Orihara-san is annoying you, I can kill him, Heiwajima-san."_

 

_"If it's a race, we will win."_

_"Is that a challenge...Anri-chan?"_

 

 


	5. Mikado and Anri and Matchmaker Izaya

 

 

Shizuo froze.

"I-Izaya?"

"Shizu-chan is such a monster." Izaya said softly with a smile. "We couldn't have a normal date, could we?"

"U-Uh yeah," Shizuo said, feeling awkward with Izaya against him. He coughed. "But you're the one who caused a scene with those guys…stupid flea."

"Now get away from me…I don't want to get flea germs."

Izaya chuckled. He exhaled then drew away from Shizuo, rubbing the back of his hand against his forehead to get the lingering feeling of nausea away. "Shizu-chan really is a tsundere."

"Huh?"

Shizuo frowned.

Tsundere? Was that some kind of synonym for monster or protozoan?

Izaya laughed. "Shizu-chan has trouble admitting his feelings." He teased.

Shizuo blinked, then sneered, "Oh really? Should I show you how much I hate you, Izaya-kun?"

"No thanks, Shizu-chan," Izaya waved his hand dismissively. "I survived your definition of a roller coaster ride, and like I said, I don't want to run away from you today."

"I already know Shizu-chan hates me."

Shizuo blinked in surprise as Izaya smiled and moved forward. He wondered why Izaya was being so honest.

He shrugged and decided to follow the flea.

 

 

They soon reached the other end of the roof. Izaya looked down and grinned, "Hey! Isn't that Mikado-kun and Anri-chan?!"

"What?" Shizuo asked.

Izaya leapt off the roof, landing in front of a black haired boy with black eyes, clad in a white and green jumper and long dark blue pants and a black haired girl with red eyes who was in a grey blouse and pink skirt. The boy gasped along with the people who dared to enter the Haunted House.

"O-Orihara-san!? W-Where did you come from?!"

Izaya pointed up with a cheerful smile. "The roof!" He proclaimed.

Mikado looked up, and paled. "Uh, Orihara-san," he said carefully. "I think you better run."

"Eh? Why?"

"B-Because – eek!" Mikado squeaked as Shizuo landed beside Izaya. "H-Heiwajima-san!"

Shizuo blinked. He raised a hand. "Yo." There was a pause. "…Ryuugasaki."

Mikado stared, and Izaya sighed, "It's Ryuugamine, Shizu-chan! You know, the air conditioner."

Shizuo shrugged. "Ah, is that so." He nodded to Mikado.

"My bad. Ryuugamine."

Mikado was still staring. "Heiwajima-san?" He asked hesitantly. "Izaya-san is beside you, you know?"

"Yeah? So?"

"Aren't you going to…'kill' him?"

"Ah." Shizuo realized. He shook his head. "Nah."

The poor boy looked even more confused. "Why?"

Shizuo coughed, then looked at him. "'Cause we're on a date." He said simply.

Mikado spluttered, as Izaya blinked, then grinned, "Shizu-chan is _dere dere_ now!"

"Huh?"

"Date?" Anri said suspiciously. Her eyes were narrowed at Izaya. "Heiwajima-san, it must be a trap."

"Yeah, I thought that too." Shizuo said. He turned to Anri, then blinked.

"…Who?"

"You look familiar." He said, holding his hand to his chin, "I feel like I've seen you before."

Izaya smirked. "So mean, Anri-chan." He said. "Why won't you believe me?"

"Orihara-san doesn't invite people on dates." Anri said stoically. "Especially not Heiwajima-san."

"Now don't be like that," Izaya spread his hands with a sly smile.

"You're on a date with Mikado-kun here aren't you, Anri-chan? Why can't I be on a date with Shizu-chan?"

"Anyway, Mikado-kun," Izaya smiled genially at the black haired boy who had blushed slightly at the word 'Anri' and 'date'.

"Has Kida-kun come back yet?"

Mikado stiffened but smiled back at him. "Don't you know the answer to that, Izaya-san?"

Izaya looked amused at that, and Mikado continued before he could respond.

"What are you doing here with Shizuo-san, Izaya-san?"

"Eh?" Izaya grinned, "Well, Shizu-chan already said it, didn't he?" He looped his arm through Shizuo's with a wink.

"We're on a date!"

Shizuo blinked, then shrugged.

"What the flea said."

 

The old Mikado would have looked like he was about to faint. But the Mikado in the present looked torn between amusement and disbelief.    
"So…what do you guys do?" He asked Shizuo.

"Eh, the normal," Shizuo said. He gave another shrug, "Try to kill the flea, save a girl from being harassed, run down the roller coaster -"

"R-Run down the roller coaster?!" 

"Hmm? Yeah. Why?"

"Such a protozoan brain, isn't he?" Izaya grinned as he indicated Shizuo. He smirked. "Eh, don't worry Mikado-kun! You don't have to run down the roller coaster to impress Anri-chan."

"Yeah." Shizuo agreed with a nod. "Even the flea couldn't keep up."

Izaya decided to ignore the statement, as Mikado flushed, "I-Izaya-san!"

Anri gave a little cough, as if in slight embarrassment, "Mikado-kun," she said softly, "Were we not going to enter the haunted house?"

"A-Ah yeah!" Mikado said. He looked at her, before turning to Shizuo and Izaya. "Sorry Shizuo-san, Izaya-san. We'll be going now."

"Into the Haunted House?" Izaya smiled widely, "What a coincidence! We're going in too!"

He held up a hand cheerfully. "Wanna race to the exit?"

"If it's a race, we will win." Anri said.

Izaya smirked. "Oh really?" He said, lowering his hand.

"Is that a challenge… Anri-chan?"

Shizuo blinked. "Oi Izaya," he said in slight annoyance. "Don't ruin the kid's date."

"I-It's not a date!" Mikado managed in embarrassment.

Shizuo looked puzzled. "It's not?"

Anri blinked. "Ryuugamine-kun." She said.

"Ah Mikado-kun!" Izaya said cheerfully. He unhooked his arm from Shizuo's and walked to Mikado. He guided the confused boy away as Shizuo and Anri looked at them in curiosity. He slung his arm over Mikado's shoulder, smirking, "It's _Ryuugamine_ again, huh? That's not good progress, is it?"

Mikado blushed. "Y-You should concentrate on your own date, Izaya-san!"

"Oh, me? Shizu-chan and I are already on close terms!" Izaya said proudly, turning his head to Shizuo with a smile. "Right, Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo scoffed. "Tch." He said. "Whatever, damn flea. After today I'm gonna kick your ass."

Izaya grinned, looking at Mikado. "See?" He extended a hand smugly. "He loves me already!"

"As if! I still hate you, Izaya!"

"There!" Izaya said in amusement to Mikado. "We're on first name terms!"

"You've always been," Mikado replied wryly. He cleared his throat, then flushed and murmured, "But it's embarrassing…"

"Ah Mikado-kun! You've got to be more daring!" Izaya sighed. "Anri-chan won't be impressed like that!"

He removed his arm from Mikado's shoulder and patted it, smirking confidently, "Watch me."

"Shizu-chan!"

"Huh?" Shizuo blinked as Izaya linked their arms. He frowned.

"What is it?"

Izaya smiled innocently up at him.

"I hate you…Shizu-chan."

"I hate you too, damn flea." Shizuo replied automatically.

"But!" Izaya held up a finger, smirking, "For today, we're on a date, aren't we?"

"Huh? Yeah." Shizuo said, wondering what Izaya was planning.

"We're on a damn date," he jerked his shoulder impatiently, "So can we hurry up and go inside the haunted house already?"

The man in a bartender suit scratched his head with his free hand. "The sooner this date is over with the sooner I can go home. And then I can get back to killing you."

He nodded to himself.

At least he would lose the flea in the haunted house.

If he was lucky enough.  
  
Even if Izaya did bring bad luck. 

"....."

"Of course, Shizu-chan! Just a moment." Izaya winked, making Shizuo even more annoyed. He skipped over to the staring Mikado.

"What is that damn flea doing?" Shizuo scoffed. "Doesn't he know he's disturbing the kid's date?"

"And aren't we on a date anyway?"

He sighed. "I need a cigarette…"

Anri blinked up at him. "If Orihara-san is annoying you, I can kill him, Heiwajima-san."

Then she said in a softer voice: 

"Just not in front of Mikado-kun."

"Eh?" Shizuo looked down at her. He smiled. "Nah it's okay, I'll kill him myself."

Kids shouldn't talk about killing. She reminded him of his kouhai.

 

"See?"

Meanwhile, Izaya stage whispered to the black haired boy, "Like that! Except the hate of course, but you gotta be bold! Be more of a man!" He threw his hands up into the air, "Be _daring_ , Mikado-kun!"

Mikado grimaced, "Shizuo-san said he hates you and wants to kill you, Izaya-san."

"Oh, he's always like that!" Izaya waved off, "He's a tsundere!"

Mikado blinked. "Really?"

"Yup!"

"W-Well…"Mikado blushed. "A-Anri-chan, we're on a date aren't we-" he shook his head furiously.

"I can't just say that! What would Sonohara-san say!"

Izaya stared, then sighed. "Trust me, she already knows she's on a date with you. It's the matter of it, you know?" He threw his hands up into the air in exasperation, "You're hopeless, Mikado-kun! I guess I'll have to help you."

"Anri-chan!"

Anri turned. "How can I help you, Orihara-san?" 

"Like I said just now, wanna race?" Izaya smiled, but held up his hand before Anri could answer. "But there are conditions! One, you can't run. Two, you must hold your date's hand -"

Mikado choked as Shizuo blinked. "W-WHAT?!" The black haired boy protested, face burning in embarrassment, "I-Izaya-san!"

"Are there any more conditions?"

Izaya smiled, holding up another finger, "Three, you can't _cheat_ , if you know what I mean."

Anri narrowed her eyes. "That means you can't threaten people either."

"Of course! The rules apply to both of us!" Izaya said cheerfully.

"Oi flea -"

"Understood." Anri nodded, a steely glint in her red eyes. "Challenge accepted."

Izaya grinned. "Great! We'll see you at the exit then!" He smirked, his own eyes full of amusement and anticipation.

Shizuo and Mikado looked at each other. They sighed.

What had they gotten themselves into?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Next chapter: Monsters in the Haunted House_

* * *

 

_"Do you want to know what a real knife feels like?"_

 

_"S-Shizu-chan! There's a real ghost! Protect me~!"_

 

_"So this is how they make a ghost in a haunted house."_

_"H-Heiwajima Shizuo?!"_

 

_"IT'S HEIWAJIMA SHIZUO! HEIWAJIMA SHIZUO'S IN HERE!"_

 

_"Ah. Shizu-chan's so cute. So unpredictable!"_

 

_"Shizu-chan's shoulder is comfortable. I hate Shizu-chan, but I like Shizu-chan's shoulder."_

_"Huh. Even fleas can get tired."_

 

_"I apologize, but please let us go. We're on a race. This is not a toy."_

 

_"You're pretty when you smile."_

 

_"I-It's a real ghost!"_

 

_"Uh Shizuo-kun? I think you just made an exit…literally."_

 

_"I DO NOT LIKE THAT FLEA!"_

 

_"What do you want, Orihara-san?"_

 

_"Shizu-chan! What are you doing? Stop it already! Have you finally gone crazy?! What's wrong with you?!"_

 

_"What the hell is wrong with me?"_

 

_"But it doesn't surprise me. I'm…a monster after all. Even in a Haunted House…the ghosts- people will be afraid."_

 

 


	6. Monsters in the Haunted House

 

 

"Hey, Shizu-chan?"

"Hm?"

"It's really dark in here, isn't it?"

"Hm."

"It's a good thing we're holding hands, right?"

"Yeah right." Shizuo said sarcastically. He scowled. So much for losing the flea in the haunted house.

"Aw, Shizu-chan! I never knew you felt that way!"

"Shut up." Shizuo said. He glared at where Izaya was as he felt a weight against him, "And get away from me."

"But I'm scared, Shizu-chan!"

"You're the last person who would be afraid of a haunted house, fucking flea."

He imagined Izaya smirking. With it so dark, he could barely see. That drew his attention to his other senses, like his sense of touch which allowed him to feel Izaya's hand in his. Shizuo frowned. Why had that flea made such a condition anyway?

Not for the first time, Shizuo noticed how…small Izaya's hand was compared to his. Izaya's hand was smooth and it almost- Shizuo shook his head, and scowled.

What was wrong with him? Why were they holding hands anyway? Wasn't it a little too intimate? Izaya had even made sure to intertwine their fingers so that their palms pressed together.

It wasn't like they were a real couple.

Shizuo scoffed at the thought.

"What are you thinking, Shizu-chan?"

"Tch. Why the hell are we holding hands?"

"Eh? Shizu-chan didn't seem to mind before!"

Shizuo glared, and Izaya smiled. "I play by the rules, Shizu-chan! Since Anri-chan has to hold Mikado-kun's hand it's only fair if I hold your hand!" He nodded. "Anyway if we don't hold hands we might get separated…and that wouldn't be good, would it?"

"Damn flea. Never knew you were a matchmaker."

Izaya smiled and hummed, swinging their hands, "Yes, I am multi-talented, you've finally noticed after nine years!"

Shizuo blinked. Nine years. Had he really known Izaya for that long?

…He had. Besides Shinra, Izaya was the only person outside of his family whom he had known for so long.

Shizuo didn't know what to think. And he wasn't sure he wanted to think about it.

Izaya was still swinging their hands in the darkness. Shizuo shrugged and decided to imagine he was holding a girl's hand. The hand in his was smooth like a girl's anyway.

And through all the awkwardness, it was kind of – nice, to be able to be so close to someone without them being afraid of him.

Being on a date like a normal person.

As sad as it sounded, Shizuo had never had a girlfriend before, so he had never been on a date.

_What the hell am I thinking? It's the damn flea – it's not normal!_

"S-Shizu-chan!"

"What?"

"I thought I saw something!"

"Ah." Shizuo squinted. "Where?"

They had walked into a part of the haunted house where there were lights – green and orange lanterns above their heads which gave off an eerie mixture of green and orange lights.

Izaya's sharp ears caught the sound of something, and he reached up a hand, catching the object that had been thrown at them that would have whizzed past their ears. He looked at it under the Halloween-like lights.

"Ah. It's a plastic knife."

"…Is that their idea of scaring people?" Shizuo looked behind. "Is that a wall behind us?"

_Is this place a fucking maze?_

Izaya shrugged and dropped the toy knife. He smirked. "Hey, knife thrower-san!" He called out cheerfully as he slid his free hand into his pocket, "Do you want to know what a real knife feels like?"

Shizuo sighed. He reached up a hand to push his sunglasses up but then realized he wasn't wearing them. He sighed again. "Izaya," he said impatiently, "You're not supposed to threaten people."

"But it's fun!" Izaya protested as there were a few frightened gasps.

"Seiji-san, there's a real threat here! I'm frightened!"

"No threat will stand in the way of our love."

"Oh Seiji-san!"

Shizuo twitched. It was that dysfunctional couple again. That Love Girl and Robot Boy.

"Oi Izaya," he bopped the flea lightly on the head. "Don't' scare people."

"Ow." Izaya pouted as he rubbed his head. "Fine fine."

"Hey hey! Isn't that voice-!"

"You're imagining things!"

"Anyway! Isn't this exciting? A haunted house! You know how in manga the main characters always end up in a haunted house, or some haunted place!"

"Oh yeah! And they think everything's fake but then suddenly, BOOM! There's a real ghossssst!"

"Ghosssssssst!"

"…You two!"

"Ghoooooooost!" Shizuo twitched as Izaya joined the fray, "Boooooo!"

Shizuo growled. "Fleaaaaaaa…"

Izaya grinned, "Shizuuuuu-chaaaaaan…"

"Kyaaaaaaaa! It's really them! Shizu-Shizu! Izayaaaaan!"

Shizuo blinked. "Izayan?" He said. He sniffed.

_Sounds like a cat._

"Eh Shizu-chan," Izaya lowered his voice, leaning in close, "Better run -ah wait, we can't run. But we've got to walk faster; we'll get delayed if they catch us and then we'll lose the race!"

Shizuo blinked, then nodded. "Yeah."

He didn't want to get caught by anyone who called him 'Shizu-Shizu'. It was worse than 'Shizu-chan'.

…Wait, Shizu-chan was worse. It was the flea after all.

What was with people and butchering of his name? It was Heiwajima Shizuo, damn it.

"Dotachin! Flashlight, where's the flashlight?!"

"…Ah. It's out of battery."

"Whaaaaaat?!"

"Sorry. I didn't check. You were rushing me."

"But- we'll lose them! Shizu-chaaan! Izayaaaan!"

Shizuo walked along with Izaya, ignoring the strange people behind them.

 

 

 

 

 

Shizuo and Izaya walked in silence for a while, before they heard a deep voice.

"Yooouuu…"

Shizuo blinked. He pointed to himself. "Me?"

"How dare you enter this placccceee!"

"S-Shizu-chan! There's a real ghost!" Izaya clung to him, "Protect me!"

Shizuo turned, and a man with long hair shone a torchlight on his face. His hair was wild, his black eyes were wide and there were bloody scars all over his face. He raised a bloody axe in his hand, a creepy grin on his face. His body was covered with a white cloth with blood stains. The torch's light and the green and orange lights enhanced the effect of the deathly pale face which looked like it had been run over by a truck or guillotine.

"Shizu-chan!" Izaya whimpered. Shizuo couldn't tell if it was real or fake. Probably fake, since it was Izaya.

Shizuo looked at the man. So this was what a ghost in a haunted house looked like.

He reached up and plucked the bloody axe from the man's hand. He released Izaya's hand and swung it down onto his wrist. No blood came out. "Fake."

Shizuo looked up. He extended his hand to tug at the man's hair, feeling it begin to come off. "Wig." He stated.

The man was still staring at him with wide eyes. He wasn't grinning anymore. Shizuo touched a finger to the man's forehead. He nodded. "Make up."

"Or wait-" he pulled at the man's face, who let out a pained scream. Shizuo blinked and let go. "Ah sorry. I used too much strength."

"But it's not a mask. Definitely makeup then. You have a very good makeup artist." Shizuo nodded to himself as he looked at the stunned 'ghost'. "So this is how they make a ghost in a haunted house." He said thoughtfully to himself.

"S-Shizu-chan…" Izaya said in surprise.

"Hm?" Shizuo turned to him, then remembered. He scratched his head. "Oh yeah, the race."

He turned back to the man, who was staring at him with eyes so wide his pupils had shrunk as he clutched at his face.

" _H-Heiwajima Shizuo_?!"

Shizuo blinked. "Yeah. How do you know my name? Ah," he held out the bloody axe to the frightened man. "Here's your axe. Sorry 'bout your face. I thought it was a mask."

The long haired man received the axe with a trembling hand.

"Heiwajima Shizuo…"

"Yeah. Eh I have to go now. I'm on a race with the flea here," Shizuo jerked his thumb at Izaya. He gave a quick wave, then turned with a wry smile. "See you. Good luck scaring other people."

"Oi, Izaya. Let's go."

Shizuo grabbed Izaya's hand and walked away. It wasn't long before a startled scream echoed behind them.

"IT'S HEIWAJIMA SHIZUO! HEIWAJIMA SHIZUO'S IN HERE!"

There were gasps and shouts and a scream of fear or two and Shizuo frowned. "What's wrong with them?" He muttered in annoyance. He had just been curious, was that a crime? It wasn't like he had ripped off the man's face.

"Is it illegal for me to be in a haunted house?"

Izaya, who had seemed to finally gotten over his surprise, giggled as he clutched at Shizuo's hand, "Ah," he said fondly, "Shizu-chan's so _cute_." He said. "So unpredictable!"

" _Hah?"_

Izaya grinned as he held Shizuo's hand and leaned against his shoulder like the girlfriend he wasn't, "I said Shizu-chan's cute." His crimson eyes twinkled in the dark as he brushed his black hair away from his amused eyes.

"I bet no one has ever had such a reaction in a haunted house before!"

"…Tch!" Shizuo turned away, feeling his face warm. "Speak for yourself, you threatened the guy!"

Izaya merely smiled and sighed, "But seriously Shizu-chan, you're at least supposed to pretend to be scared even if you're not scared!" He gestured with his free arm, raising his voice, "Like, Kyaaaaaa~! A ghost! I'm so scareed~! Kyaaaa~!"

"Kya kya kya kya," Shizuo muttered stoically in annoyance at Izaya's high pitched voice. "What are you, a girl?"

"I was just demonstrating!" Izaya declared with a wave of his hand, "It's the normal reaction people have in a Haunted House, you know? Ah but I suppose it doesn't apply to you, Shizu-chan's a monster after all!"

Shizuo scoffed as Izaya continued with a wild, amused grin, "Hey Shizu-chan, if you ever lose your job you can apply here!" He spread his free arm, "I'm sure they'll welcome you with open arms!"

Shizuo growled and tightened his grip on Izaya's hand threateningly.

"Shut up shitty flea or I'll break your fucking fingers!"

"Wow! Shizu-chan's scary!"

But he allowed it when Izaya giggled and intertwined their fingers anyway.

Izaya wasn't afraid of him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Um, Sonohara-san…?"

"Yes, Ryuugamine-kun?"

"Uh…" Mikado said hesitantly as he looked at their intertwined fingers under the lamplight. He blushed.

"Y-You don't have to play Izaya-san's game, you know. Izaya-san probably isn't following the rules anyway."

Anri blinked at him. "Do you dislike holding hands with me?"

"N-No! I like it! I-I mean!" Mikado stuttered, face turning red even in the darkness. "I just…don't want you to be uncomfortable!"

To his surprise, Anri smiled at him and he felt his face heat up even more. "I do not dislike our hands being linked." She said softly.

"A-Ah…" Mikado said awkwardly. "That's…good then." He blushed.

_She has such a pretty smile…_

They walked in a peaceful silence and Mikado didn't know whether to curse Izaya or be thankful to him. Sure, he got to hold hands with the girl he liked but it was embarrassing.

And walking together like this with her…he didn't know what to say. Should he say something? Or should he keep quiet?

_...Why did I choose this place again?_

She had asked him where he wanted to go and he had been so nervous he had immediately blurted out the first thing that came to his mind. The Haunted House was usually a place couples went to, wasn't it? Like in anime, where the girl got frightened and clung to the guy…

But then again, Anri wasn't frightened at all. In fact, _he_ was the one who was scared.

Mikado bit his lip. He wished he had an example to follow. Mikado was awkward with girls, and he was even more awkward around the girl he liked.

He thought of Shizuo and Izaya. Neither of them was a girl but despite being enemies, they looked so comfortable around each other. There was no awkwardness between them at all or no holding back of feelings. They just did what they wanted to.

Mikado frowned lightly. He never thought he would think this, but he kind of…envied them.

And they weren't even a real couple…were they?

He sighed. Why couldn't he be more daring like Izaya or more honest like Shizuo? He had finally gotten the courage to ask Anri out on a date, but he was too nervous to do anything.

It was like he was back half a year ago, before he took control of the Dollars, and he hadn't changed at all. 

Maybe Masaomi had a point in wanting to teach him how to talk to girls.

_I'm only holding her hand because Izaya-san helped me._

_"Don't waste this chance with Anri-chan, Mikado-kun!"_ He could practically hear the information broker's sing-song voice in his mind.

Mikado sighed.

Since when was Izaya a matchmaker anyway?

"Are you alright, Ryuugamine-kun?"

"Ah-yes!" Mikado snapped back to reality. He gave a nervous smile. "I'm fine, Sonohara-san."

Anri nodded at him and he followed her as she walked forward determinedly. Mikado looked at her.

"Sonohara-san…you can see in here?"

"My eyes are trained to the dark." Anri answered.

"I see…"

"Is something wrong?"

"I…" Mikado inhaled. He looked at Anri apologetically. "Sorry, I just don't know what to say…" he said awkwardly, lowering his gaze to the ground. "I'm not really good at this, and I'm kind of apprehensive of…ghosts."

There, he had followed Shizuo's example and had been honest. Mikado peered up. Now what would she say?

"It's alright, Ryuugamine-kun. You don't have to say anything," Anri seemed to hesitate, before giving him a tentative smile. "Just your presence is enough."

"S-Sonohara-san…"

"And you do not have to worry, I will protect you from any 'ghosts'." Anri nodded.

Mikado flushed, but nodded.

_Ah, I'm so pathetic! H_ _aving Sonohara-san protect me…I should be protecting her as a man!_

_But…_

He looked up at the girl with glasses. Warmth flooded his face.

_Sonohara-san is cute when she smiles…_

"Ryuugamine-kun." Anri suddenly said. "Something's coming."

"Eh?"

Mikado looked around. He couldn't see anything. "I don't see anything."

Anri narrowed her eyes. "It's coming."

"Eh?!" Mikado whirled around. His eyes widened and he screamed. "Ahhhhhhhh!"

Anri was in front of him in a second as he stumbled back and fell onto the floor.

_G-Ghost! It's a ghost!_

The woman in front of them had hair falling over her eyes like that ghost in the horror movie Kida had forced him to watch, as she advanced towards them with a knife in her hand. He hadn't been able to sleep for a week after that and Kida had teased him about being a scaredy cat. 

She smiled at them with an eerily calm smile. "Why helloooo…" she spoke softly, and there were blood stained fangs in her mouth. "What are you two adorable children doing here?"

Anri frowned as she pointed the knife at them. She looked at it. It was fake. It wasn't made of metal, that was paint. She knew what real metal looked like.

But she had promised to protect Mikado. Anri narrowed her eyes as Saika slipped out of her hand which she held behind her back. She drew her sword, pointing it at the surprised woman. "I apologize, but please let us go. We're on a race." Her eyes flashed red as Saika's blade glinted. "This is not a toy."

"S-Sonohara-san!" Mikado gasped.

The woman stared at her for a moment. But she didn't run away screaming. Instead, when Anri lowered her sword, she reached forward and placed her hands on Anri's shoulders, her eyes sparkling. "Wow! Your eyes are _red!"_ She exclaimed, falling completely out of her character. "Oh I'm Miria by the way! Are you a vampire?! Or are you cosplaying as one? Where did you get that sword from?! It looks so real!"

Anri blinked. "It is real." She said. "It is not a toy."

"That's so _cool!_ So you're cosplaying as a school girl who's secretly a vampire? _"_

Anri blinked again. "I am not a vampire." She stated.

The long haired 'ghost' which Mikado suddenly didn't find scary anymore blinked. "You're not?"

"No I'm not. Now if you will excuse me," Anri bowed. The woman removed her hands and she turned, sheathing her sword. "Ryuugamine-kun?"

"A-Ah yeah!" He reached up to the hand she held out to him and pulled himself up. "Thank you, Sonohara-san."

"You're welcome." Anri said. She then continued forward, her sword in her other hand. Mikado glanced at it and she said, "Just in case. But I will not cheat."

"Alright…"

"Ah! Hey wait!"

"What's the matter, Miria?!"

"Oh Isaac! I think I just saw a vampire! A real vampire! With a sword!"

"Really?! Where?"

"She ran away! Or maybe she was cosplaying…but her eyes were red!"

The voices faded behind them as Anri walked at a fast pace.

Mikado spoke up, "Ah, Sonohara-san?"

"Yes?"

"Um…" she looked at him and he smiled at her. "Thank you."

He felt silly saying it again but he wanted to say it.

Anri blinked then looked at him, "You're welcome, Ryuugamine-kun." She repeated, but somehow, there was more warmth in her voice.

"And-uh-" Mikado scratched the back of his head, "You can call me Mikado, really…"

"…Mikado-kun." Anri said. "I'm glad you're here with me."

She smiled at him, and he felt his heart skip a beat. It was the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. Even more so because he knew she didn't usually smile. But when she did, it took his breath away.

"You're pretty when you smile." The words slipped out before he could stop them and she blinked. He blinked, then his eyes widened ad he choked, "I-I mean!" 

Anri flushed prettily. "Thank you." She said with a soft smile.

Mikado stared, and realized that, as Anri's brown eyes met his black eyes, that maybe Anri was just as nervous as him. She was a shy girl who was quiet and didn't speak much. But she was different. She didn't want to stand out. But she would protect what was important to her, like when she, he and Masaomi had met in the middle of the Yellow Scarves. She wasn't afraid to stand up for herself and her friends, like when she had saved him from those boring gangsters.

She was just different- and important to him.

Seeing that blush on her face, he felt his courage come back, remembering how he was creating a place for her and his best friend to return to.

Mikado smiled.

"And…"

He slid his fingers through hers, speaking as he met her eyes.

"I'm happy you're here with me too, Sonohara-san."

And he liked her that way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Shizuo and Izaya walked through the haunted house. Since their encounter with the 'ghost' who had alerted everyone of Shizuo's presence, they had only encountered a few other 'ghosts' who looked more scared of Shizuo than he was of them, a 'vampire' who was intimidated by Izaya's red eyes and evil grin, and fake traps which Izaya easily dismantled, just for the fun of it, or so he had claimed.

"Hey Shizu-chan, I'm bored." Izaya swung their hands lightly, "Where do you think the exit is?"

"No idea. But we've walked for a while, so it should be near." Shizuo said. At least he hoped it would be. He was getting tired of this place.

"Hmm really?" Izaya leaned his head against Shizuo's shoulder.

Shizuo shrugged. "Probably."

"Ah." Izaya said. "Hey Shizu-chan, I'm hungry."

_...Tch, like I can do anything about that_

_Why the hell is the flea complaining?_

It wasn't like he could cure Izaya's boredom or his hunger.

Shizuo inhaled to control his temper and reminded himself that it was, normal for being Izaya's - date.

The blond sighed. "We'll get something to eat later, alright?" He said impatiently.

Izaya smiled. "Okay, Shizu-chan." He snuggled in closer to Shizuo, "Mmm. Shizu-chan's shoulder is comfortable."

Shizuo gritted his teeth. "I'm not your pillow, damn flea!"

"I didn't say you were. You're my date," Izaya said simply. "As my date, Shizu-chan has the responsibility to allow me to do things like these, you know?" He smirked. "No need to get mad, Shizu-chan!"

"Anyway," Izaya said, adjusting his head against Shizuo's shoulder again. "I hate Shizu-chan, but I like Shizu-chan's shoulder." He snuggled closer.

Shizuo didn't have anything to say to that. So he took a deep breath and wished for this date to be over soon. If he snapped, Izaya would only be amused.

Izaya yawned, breaking the silence, and Shizuo turned to him. "Huh. Even fleas can get tired." He commented.

"Just a bit sleepy," Izaya replied, looking up at Shizuo with something behind his eyes which Shizuo couldn't identify.

"After all, I've been busy planning something big."

"…Mm."

Shizuo acknowledged. He looked away. He didn't want to know what Izaya had been planning for. As long as it didn't involve him.

Izaya was being unusually quiet, and Shizuo glanced at him. The flea still had his head against his shoulder, and his black hair tickled his sleeve. He yawned softly again, and blinked his half lidded red eyes.

Shizuo blinked. 

_It's kind of cute._

_...._

The bodyguard froze in his tracks at the thought. Izaya looked up at him curiously.

"Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo slowly turned. He walked up to a wall, and promptly bashed his head against it.

"S-Shizu-chan?!"

_Fuck! WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?!_

Shizuo yelled mentally as he sought to get rid of the disturbing thought. 

_IZAYA ISN'T CUTE_

"Shizu-chan!" Izaya exclaimed, "You're not very bright so don't destroy whatever brain cells you have left!"

Shizuo faintly noted that Izaya's remark wasn't as teasing or taunting as usual, almost as if he was worried and the thought was so absurd it made him bang his head against the wall again, which was crumbling under his strength.

"Shizu-chan!" He felt Izaya grab at him and pull at his hand.

"What are you doing? Stop it already! Have you finally gone crazy?! What's wrong with you?!"

"Uh," Shizuo slowly brought himself back to reality as Izaya glared at him. At the same time, the wall shattered, but he didn't notice.

_...Was that worry?_

_From the flea?_

He blinked, and coughed.

"It's nothing. I was just thinking."

"…Shizu-chan can think?"

Shizuo growled. "Shut up or I'll shove you to the floor-"

"How kinky!" Izaya smirked.

"-and leave you here to rot!" Shizuo spat. So much for controlling his temper. Well, he hadn't beaten the flea to a bloody pulp yet.

He decided to be satisfied with this level of self control. How much longer did he have to play Izaya's game?

_If it wasn't for Kasuka…_

"Fine, I'll behave!" Izaya said way too cheerfully and moved in close to Shizuo. "I don't want to be separated from Shizu-chan and his shoulder!" He said.

"So don't bang your head again okay? Really Shizu-chan, you get angry when I try to hurt you but then you go and hurt yourself!"

Shizuo scoffed. "You'll have to let go eventually." He muttered. "I'm not going out with you like this!" 

"And it's none of your business."

_Even if you're the cause, damn flea._

"Mhm. But it should be fine here, right?"

"Hm." Shizuo mumbled.

"Hey Shizu-chan," Izaya said suddenly, "You alright? Why were you banging your head against the wall?"

"…To get rid of a disturbing thought."

"…Thoughts can't be gotten rid of that way, Shizu-chan."

"Who cares? It helped."

"Huh. Well whatever suits Shizu-chan's protozoan brain!" Izaya said brightly. "Hey Shizu-chan, you broke that wall so let's take a shortcut!" He pointed to the new path opened to them.

"…Tch!"

Stupid flea. Izaya wasn't cute. 'Izaya' and 'cute' were two words which should never be in the same sentence. Unless it was something like, 'Izaya stabbed the cute dog'. Shizuo nodded. That he could understand. But the flea being cute? Never. Spending so much time with the flea was beginning to mess up his brain.

He looked at Izaya as they walked towards the new path, stepping over the pieces of previously solid wall. The information broker still had his head against his shoulder and his hand in his. He blinked up at Shizuo and smiled as his black hair fell over his ruby eyes.

"What, Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo stared.

_He is kind of cute- NO!_

He quickly turned his head away and resisted the urge to bash his head against the nearest wall – or against Izaya's head 'cause he was sure you didn't do that to your date no matter how much they pissed you off- and he didn't want to carry the flea out of the Haunted House if he got knocked out.

 _What the_ _hell_ _is wrong with me?_

"Shizu-chan shouldn't think too much, your protozoan brain might explode from overload of information."

Shizuo ignored him. He clenched his teeth.

Fine. The flea was cute. Izaya was cute. So what? He was just- cute, because he portrayed the image of cute- on purpose! Like, some stray kitten with big eyes that looked cute, but was actually a vicious cat with sharp claws. Shizuo nodded to himself. Yeah, that made sense. So Izaya looking…cute and acting so docile was all part of his plan to make him let his guard down!

Shizuo grinned. 

_It all makes sense._

"What's so funny, Shizu-chan?"

"Nothing." Shizuo said. But he allowed himself to relax. Now that he had figured out the flea's plan, he could be more relaxed now. He just had to keep his guard up.

Just as he thought that, a loud shout shattered the silence, "NOOO CELTY!"

Shizuo blinked. "That's…" he began.

"Shinra's voice, isn't it?" Izaya continued.

Another noise, a scream of fear this time, echoed in the air. Shizuo scowled, looking around, "Is he in danger? Where the hell is he?!"

"There," Izaya pulled him by the hand and they ran to the direction of the scream.

If Shizuo didn't know better, he would say Izaya looked almost worried. He watched as the informant dug into his pocket and pulled out his phone, lighting up the screen and pointing it forward.

It wasn't much, but it was enough. They soon plowed through the darkness to the sight of Shinra, who had a flashlight on. The light showed them the 'ghost', and Celty- without her helmet.

"Shinra!"

Shinra turned, eyes widening in surprise, "Izaya!" He blinked. "And Shizuo?!"

"What happened?" Shizuo asked. He looked at the scene. The 'ghost' had an expression of pure terror on his face. He backed away, eyes bulging and wide.

"N-No _head_ …" he stuttered as he saw the black smoke coming out of where the woman's head should have been, "I-It's a _real ghost_!"

"How rude! My Celty's not a ghost! She's a Dullahan!" Shinra sounded deeply offended as he stood in front of Celty. He frowned.

"Apologize to her! You knocked her helmet off! You attacked my Celty!"

[Shinra…]

Celty flashed her PDA in the darkness.

[It's alright, I don't think he meant to do it.]

"G-GHOST!" The 'ghost' seemed to not be listening to the underground doctor at all as he screamed in abject horror. "SOMEONE SAVE MEEEEEEEEEE!"

He ran away screaming, and Shinra, Shizuo and Izaya blinked. More smoke flowed out of Celty.

[Shinra, can you help me find my helmet?]

"Ah yeah!" Shinra said. He shone his flashlight around until he caught sight of Celty's yellow helmet. He picked it up, placed the flashlight in the pocket of his coat, held the helmet with both of his hands and placed it carefully back on his beloved's neck. Shinra smiled widely. "There!"

Celty adjusted her helmet, then typed a message to Shinra.

[Thanks, Shinra]

She hesitated, before typing another sentence.

[And…thank you for…standing up for me just now.]

"…Awww, Celty!" Shinra threw his arms around Celty's neck with a wide smile. "You're blushing, aren't you?! I knew you loved me-owow!"

Shizuo blinked at Celty as she elbowed Shinra in embarrassment. "Celty, you too?" He said.

[Eh?]

"You know, having to deal with annoying people."

There was a silence as Shinra and Izaya stared at him. Shizuo blinked. "What?"

"What? Shizuo?!" Shinra gasped, "How- How can you say that? C-Celty you don't think I'm annoying, do you?!" He cried.

"Shizu-chan!" Izaya added, pouting unhappily as he tugged at Shizuo's hand, "I know you're a protozoan, but don't you know what's tact?!"

"Shut up flea, I wasn't talking about you," Shizuo said. Izaya blinked and he quickly continued, "Not that you're not annoying, but I wasn't talking about you just now!"

"Aw, Shizu-chan actually enjoys my company?" Izaya teased.

"Make your own conclusions." Shizuo scoffed and Izaya blinked. He turned back to Celty, who was reassuring Shinra.

[No Shinra, I don't think so.]

She typed on her PDA again then flashed the next message.

[Shizuo wasn't talking about you.]

Shinra sniffed. "Really?"

Celty nodded, then turned back to Shizuo.

[Yeah.]

She communicated.

[But it doesn't surprise me. I'm…a monster after all. Even in a haunted house…the ghosts-people will be afraid.]

[Kind of ironic, huh?]

"Yeah. Same here." Shizuo shared. He smiled at her. "But you know, I'm kind of glad I'm not the only one." He confessed sheepishly.

"[…Me too.]

If Celty had a face, she would have been smiling.

[Misery loves company.]

Shizuo chuckled. "That's true."

[A-Anyway]

Shizuo blinked as Celty typed quickly.

[What are you doing here, Shizuo? And with- I-Izaya?]

She started, then typed in a flustered manner.

[A-Are you two holding hands?!]

Izaya grinned as he read Celty's message. He happily made himself comfortable against Shizuo's shoulder, "Why, I'm Shizu-chan's girlfriend of course!"

"What?!" Shinra exclaimed as Celty seemed to choke.

[G-GIRLFRIEND?!]

Shizuo scowled. "I wouldn't say girlfriend," he sneered. "He's not even a girl." Izaya smiled at him and he relented with a frustrated scowl.

"We're on a date."

[D-Date?!]

Celty's fingers were trembling.

[T-Then, that means-]

"No!" Shizuo shouted and Celty and Shinra looked at him. "The damn flea blackmailed me!"

"A-Ah…" Shinra said. He smiled. "But Shizuo, that doesn't sound very effective when you're holding Izaya's hand you know."

"SHUT UP!" Shizuo yelled as Izaya chuckled in amusement. "Flea, tell him why the hell we have to hold hands!"

"Okay!" Izaya smirked mischievously, "Shinra, Shizu-chan is holding hands with me 'cause he secretly likes holding my hand -"

Shizuo twitched. With his free hand, he lifted up Izaya by the collar, glaring with a twisted grin on his face.

"What was that, Izaya-kuuun?" He said, shaking the laughing shorter man.

"Eh, why that reaction, Shizu-chan? Could it be you actually do like holding my hand?" Izaya teased.

"WANNA REPEAT THAT AGAIN?!"

"Wah! Shizu-chan's turned violent!" Izaya continued laughing, tilting his head with a taunting smirk and an amused look on his face.

"Scary, scary! Someone save me from the Monster in this Haunted House!"

"FUCK YOU!"

"Eh, here? In front of Celty and Shinra? Shizu-chan I know you're a protozoan but-"

"GOD DAMN IT I DIDN'T MEAN IT THAT WAY!"

"HAHAHAHA! SHIZU-CHAN THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE IS HILARIOUS!"

"WHY YOU FUCKING FLEA!"

"Ah, why do you always use that crude word with me? Could it be, Shizu-chan actually -"

"IN YOUR FUCKING DREAMS!"

"Ah? Sorry to disappoint Shizu-chan, but I don't dream of you that way -"

[Shinra!]

Celty finally managed.

[Do something! This conversation is getting extremely disturbing!]

"A-Ah!" Shinra said once he saw how Celty's shoulders were trembling. He stepped forward bravely, and couldn't help but notice how even though Shizuo had Izaya up by the collar of his jacket with one hand, his other hand was still clasping Izaya's.

He sighed at the almost comedic sight and began waving his hands.

"Hey guys! If you want to fight don't do it here! You're scaring my Celty!"

Shizuo started at that. He growled and dropped Izaya, who chuckled and quickly regained his perfect balance.

"Sorry Celty." He mumbled. "The flea was pissing me off."

[It's…okay.]

Celty flashed him her PDA, as she tried her best to ignore how Shizuo was _still_ holding Izaya's hand. She tried not to remember how actions spoke louder than words as she typed her next words.

[So…blackmail?]

"Yeah yeah it's a long story, I'll tell you about it later," Shizuo said. "But can we talk about it outside? We're kind of on a race here."

"And I want to get out of this place." He muttered.

[R-Race?]

"Against Mikado-kun and Anri-chan!" Izaya answered.

[Anri-chan's here?] Celty was surprised.

"Anri?" Shizuo asked curiously.

"Yeah, she's on a date with Mikado-kun," Izaya smirked. "We ran into them just now."

[O-Oh…]

"Well, I think the exit's that way," Shinra pointed his flashlight. "That looks like a door, doesn't it?"

The light shone on what looked like a worn out, medieval styled door.

Shizuo walked over to it, dragging Izaya with him in the process. Izaya reached out and tugged at the ring surrounded by chains.

"Shizu-chan, I think it's stuck."

"You're useless." Shizuo scoffed. He pushed Izaya's hand away, "Get back."

Before anyone could react, he grabbed the heavy chains and snapped them against the door with one hand. He then pulled his fist back and slammed it into the door. It gave way before his inhuman strength and fell back, broken chains and all, allowing light to flood in.

People gasped as they stepped out into the open. Shinra brushed away the dust from his lab coat. He looked back at the door, surrounded by plaster from the wall and broken chains, then turned his gaze to the real exit.

"Uh Shizuo-kun? I think you just made an exit…literally."

[I think that was a fake exit to trick people] Celty revealed.

"…Whatever. We're out, aren't we?"

"Protozoan brute," Izaya said in amusement. He skipped happily forward, bringing Shizuo along with him.

"Ah, at last! Out of the darkness and into the light! Blue sky!" He swept his hand, "Warm sun!" He turned his head and grinned at the shocked people staring at them.

"Humans! I LOVE HUMANS!"

Shizuo scoffed and ignored Izaya's comment as the people stared at Izaya like he was crazy. He had to take his frustration out on something, didn't he? He actually felt a little better now.

[S-So…]

Celty began again.

[You two…date? How did that happen?]

Shizuo sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "Like I said, the flea blackmailed me."

[But…you two are holding hands…]

If Celty had a voice, it would have sounded faint.

"A rule." Shizuo said. "He was trying to matchmake the kids."

[Eh?]

"Aw, Shizuo-kun!" Shinra seemed to have gotten over his surprise at seeing them together, "No need to be shy! If you've suddenly decided you like Izaya-kun it's-OWOWOW!"

"I DO NOT LIKE THAT FLEA!" Shizuo yelled, ready to strangle Shinra as Izaya basked in the sun happily, roaming his gaze across his humans. "WANT TO REPEAT THAT AGAIN?!"

"O-Okay." Shinra gasped, choking, "I-I'm sorry! Please let me go!"

Shizuo scowled and released the underground doctor, who doubled over, coughing.

[S-Shinra! Are you alright?]

Celty asked worriedly. She turned to Shizuo.

[S-Shizuo! You didn't have to do that!]

"..Sorry." Shizuo mumbled. "He was pissing me off. I didn't break his neck or anything."

"Y-You're strong even with one hand," Shinra managed. He stood up. "Hey Celty, won't you hold my hand?"

[W-What?!] The Dullahan spluttered.

"But! Shizuo and Izaya are holding hands! Don't you think we should hold hands too?" Shinra pouted. "We're a lovey dovey couple, aren't we?"

Shizuo growled, "Are you implying I'm _lovey dovey_ with the flea, Shinra?" He said dangerously. Izaya was still inhaling the fresh air with a happy smile and being oblivious – or so it seemed.

"A-Ah no, of course not!" Shinra laughed nervously. He turned back to his beloved, "Celty…"

Trails of black smoke had started to leak from Celty's helmet as she felt nauseous at the thought of Shizuo and Izaya being 'lovey dovey'. She shook her head furiously, and typed frantically.

[Don't say that, Shinra! I don't want to imagine it! It's disgusting!] Her fingers flew across the keypad

[A-And I'm not holding your hand! It's embarrassing!]

"Eh?! But Celty~!"

The conversation was interrupted as there was a loud bang. People gasped and they turned their gazes to where a girl with short black hair and glasses and a black haired boy with blue eyes stood, obstructed by the dust from the fallen door.

As the dust cleared, Izaya caught sight of Saika sliding back into Anri's body. He smirked.

Well, they had 'cheated' too.

"Anri-chan! Mikado-kun! Over here!"

Anri moved her gaze. She narrowed her red eyes and stepped over the door she had slashed with her sword. Mikado stumbled after her, but managed to regain his balance.

"…Did you satisfy all the conditions?"

"Definitely! Do I look like the type to cheat?" Izaya smirked. He held up Shizuo's hand with his into the air. Shizuo blinked.

"Holding hands, check," Izaya smiled, "No running, check." He dropped their hands. "If we had run we would have been here a long time ago. Oh and I didn't threaten anyone, in fact someone threatened me!" He shrugged. "You can ask Shizu-chan."

"Someone threw a plastic knife at him." Shizuo admitted. "Though he threatened the guy -"

"Now Shizu-chan, that doesn't count!" Izaya interrupted. "It was a defensive reaction!"

"Whatever."

Anri looked down at her and Mikado's intertwined fingers as Mikado blushed. "Hands together, check." She said softly. She looked up at Izaya. "We didn't run either. I did not cheat, according to your definition."

She said. She had used Saika to cut down the door but she had not used it to control anyone to tell her where the exit was.

"Mhmm." Izaya conceded. He smiled slyly. "But I still won." He said smugly.

"Tch." Shizuo snorted.

Just who was the one who had broken down the door? The flea couldn't even budge the thing. It was just like the bastard to claim all the credit for himself.

"Oh of course Shizu-chan helped too! He made an exit for us!"

…Never mind. What was wrong with the flea today? He wasn't being very…flea-like.

"What do you want, Izaya-san?"

"Well, I was bored and just wanted to race you, Anri-chan," Izaya said casually. He looked at her with a smirk. "But now that you mention it…"

Izaya thought for a while, then his smirk widened. He moved forward, letting his hand slip away from Shizuo's. The blond looked at Izaya as he spread his arms with a taunting smile.

"Why don't you kiss Mikado-kun…Anri-chan?"


End file.
